Judge, 1911-07-01 · page 10 of 24
Judge — July 1, 1911 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine *Judge* contains several humor pieces mocking American social pretensions and gender dynamics circa early 20th century. **"Reveries of a Graduate"** presents cynical observations about college education—diplomas don't guarantee success or wisdom; graduates often deplete fathers' bank accounts; and college students are unteachably arrogant. The satire targets both the inflated value of degrees and young people's overconfidence. **The cartoon "Two Fresh"** depicts a suitor courting a young woman while her mother boasts she was equally slim at her daughter's age—a joke about aging women's vanity and denial. **"A Good and Sufficient Reason"** mocks an incompetent orchestra violinist who blames his poor playing on training received in Philadelphia, implying that city's musicians are inherently slow or inferior. The remaining brief pieces target similar targets: men's ignorance of courtship economics, Wall Street jargon, lumber industry small-timers, and marital humor ("figure of speech" = wife). The overall tone satirizes American pretension, youthful arrogance, and social climbing.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SOCIETY NOTE. Mrs. G. Van Dough gave a lawn party yesterday. The gurden was bedecked with many beautiful birds and flowers. Reveries of a Graduate. By PERRINE LAMBERT. OVE laughs at diplomas. Study work often leads to steady work. Half a loaf is better than not going to college at all. A little college, now and then, will graduate the wisest men. When Cupid comes in the door, learn- ing flies out the window. A diploma in the hand is worth two in the examinations. Possession of a diploma doesn’t neces- sarily mean that the owner is diplomatic. It’s the wise graduate who is willing to start with a job and work into a posi- tion. A course through college sometimes means going through college and father’s bank account. You can always tell a college student —but you can’t tell him anything he doesn’t know. Many graduates struggling up the mountain of suc- cess are perfectly content to rest of the first knowl- edge. Sweet girl grad- uates who yearn to set the world ablaze sometimes strike their gaits only to find love- lorn young men swinging on the gates. T'S THE good our neighbors ought to say but never do that keeps us from do- ing better, and the bad they ought not to say but do that keeps us from do- ing worse. HEN a college youth presents a bunch of flowers to his girl, she never thinks of thanking his father for paying for them. SLANG EXPRESSION—“ TWO FRESH.” “<s"DRUE, he’s a mean man of few friends, but good to his family."’ “Yep. Ain’t home more'n_ three nights a month." Mother (10 POssiBLe SUITOR) —“* MAYBE YOU CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT, BUTI WAS AS SLIM AS MY DAUGHTEK WHEN I WAS HER AGE!” A Good and Sufficient Reason. by WILLIAM J, LAMPTON. HE BANDMASTER was unexpect- edly shy a violinist and, failing to find the artist he sought, the igencies of the case compelled him to take what- ever he could get. This proved to be an unknown who had nothing to show but a union label, and he was hurried into re- hearsal. In the first getaway of the orchestra he played slow and came in behind the bunch. The leader shook him up and told him to get amoveon. He agreed and anew start was made. This time the unknown fiddler was worse than before and was several beats late at the finish. The leader was hot and put it in the language he applied to the player. “Don’t you know that you are away behind?"’ he asked. ‘‘Haven’t you got any ear at all?) What in thunder’s the matter with you, anyhow?"" “Well,"’ apologized the violinist, “how can I help being ‘slow? I was taught to play in Philadelphia."” A Lumber Merchant. «¢7 HEAR Jones in the lum- ber business."” “Yes, on rath- era small scal ‘*How’s that?’ “He's peddling toothpicks.” Figuratively Only. “DA,” asked little Willie, “what is the meaning of ‘Fig- ure of Speech'?”” “That, my son, is the very latest name for a man's better half."” N Wall Street, learn to ‘*bull’” or ‘‘bear’’ it. comicbooks.com