Judge — May 27, 1911 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A MONSTER MEETING HELD IN HYDE PARK WHILE THE CORONATION PROCESSION WAS PASSING. of sniff disdainfully and go on. Nobody at all came in to be cremated. It made Elias pretty glum, You simply cannot dress a window attractively if you do not have new goods to display once in a while. He would go out onto the side- walk and look at John Jones and John Smith, and the tears would roll down his cheeks; and then he would come in and put John Brown in the window, and go out and take another look, and weep again. And the passers-by would stick their noses against the window and read the names on the urns and say, ‘‘ Humph! Same old lot!’ and go away disgusted. Elias became so melancholy that he decided life was not worth living and that he was no good to any one and a failure and better dead, and old Johann Bith would look at him and rub his hands together and smile! Actually smile! He was so pleased that Elias was at last becoming properly melancholy that he smiled from morning to night, and the customers began to be offended. He began to lose trade, and he knew he was losing it. So, just as Elias was about to throw up his job, old Johann Bith went to him. “EW he said, ‘‘I am shust tickled all to pieces by how you looks so sad all the times. It makes me so happy I ain'dt sad-looking no more. I got to get out mit this Funeral Parlor quick, so we don’t lose all our trade yet. You got the sad looks plenty, and now I make you half partner mit me, and gif you Susan. Ain'dt it?” So all was for the best. can tell, you see. So It Read. OHN, desirous of displaying his re- cently acquired ability to the ‘grown-ups’ books, stood in front of the bookcase, You never read reading out loud the titles of the books and asking the family in general which book he should read. As he finished reading one title in particular, his older brother asked, ‘By is it writ- “By Illustra- tions,"” proudly re- plied John. All Is Vanity. «THIS is a very fine dog, ma’am, and cheap at the price,’’ said the dealer. “I've no doubt of it,”’ she replied; “but I don’t care to buy him until I’m sure he matches my new gowns.”” The Sweet Soubrette. By S. B. KISER. A’ NIGHT she dazzles where she dances Before old men with rheumy eyes; Their hearts are gladdened by her glances, Their senses muddled by her sighs. Across the stage she blithely capers, And now and then gets in the papers. The costume that she wears is scanty— How lucky that her legs are straight! With legs that bowed, in some poor shanty She might be mourning her sad fate. With parenthetic underpinning What sweet applause could she be win- ning? She shines at night in mirthful splendor. At noon she rises, pale and wan, Resembling much the Witch of Endor, Her gladness dead, her graces gone, And mourns her lot while being harried For cash by him to whom she’s married. Those Hat-covered Eyes. “ MES have changed.”” “They have, indeed. In my day a young fellow looked into a girl's eyes and told her that he loved her, but now he can't carry out that program if she happens to have her haton. The pre- vailing style of a woman's upper story, therefore, makes an artistic proposal strictly an indoor performance." Amended. HE \WHO loves and runs away May live to love another day. GROWING OLD. “« T wouldn't have known you, Effie, you 've grown so big."” “Yes, I's'pose I 've aged a lot comicbooks.com