Judge — May 13, 1911 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Poultry Notes. By G. T. EVANS. TURKEY is hard to raise; so is its price. “Like begets like’’ does not apply to the incubator. Chickens are modest; they are dressed even when nude. Did time affect money as it does an egg, there would be no misers, Heredity had nothing to do with the initial crow of the first rooster. The combination of goose eggs and an incubator often makes good waterfowl. A prize hen may be worth five hundred dollars—but not when she is in a pie. A rooster makes an efficient alarm clock for men who care not how early they start to work. You cannot tell whether your neighbor A Blank Shame. By TUDOR JENKS. “ce HAT is the matter?”’ inquired Her Dearest Friend, as she was ushered into the boudoir of her newly married chum and found, instead of the vis- ion of happiness she had expected, a disheveled her- oine largely dis- solved in tears. “What is the mat- ter?” “Algernon has gone away for a week"’—— “THE PASSING OP THE UNEMPLOYED.” is a gentleman until you let your chick- ens into his garden. Every egg has several layers; the most important of these layers are thr fowl, the shell, and the white. Some poultry raisers claim they have made money, but their names are not found in the list of millionaires, The fact that there are no chicken thieves in your locality is not an indica- tion that no egg poachers are near. You don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to know there must be feather beds in the house of a man who keeps geese. If you count your chickens before they are stolen, you may be shocked by a sud- den, severe shrinking of your assets. Guinea hens are profitable; but don’t undertake to keep them if you have in- somnia, nerves, or love for your neigh- bors, Ins and Outs. E OFTEN says, in blank despair, “Old man, I am all in!"’ But note how quickly he goes out When handed out some tin! “But, my child, you don’t mean to say that you are such turtle doves that you can’t spare him for a week without mak- ing a scene like this?”’ “Oh, no, it isn’t that at all! Of course it is hard to live alone, but he has at last shown me what a monster he is.”” “Why, this is shocking! he have done? You haven't found he was already married or’ —— “No, no, no! It’s only that he is a heartless, miserly crea- ture. Only think! Iasked him to leave me a check to pay for things while he was away’’— “Well, surely he didn’t re- fuse?"’ = “No; worse tha t—far worse! He just, ted to wound and humili e! He left me acheck, all dated and signed, complete, except that he didn’t put any amount in! Wasn't that very cruel?"’ What can DEGRADING THE DRAMA. Chantecler (haughtily) —'* So you, too, have been dramatized, little one?"’ Bluebird (proudly) —"' I certainly have."* Chantecler (ironically) —‘* Well, I suppose the next to tread the stage will be English Sparrow, with accent, pipe, and monocle."* The Bowery. By ROSCOE GILMORE STOTT. HE HOURS I’ve spent on thee, old street, Are as your string of joints to me; Each holds its share of storied relics sweet— Old Bowery, old Bowery! Each night a show, each show a thrill, To wake my blase New York mind; We did each one, and then, to fill the bill, Chop suey haunts we'd find. Oh, memories of Mag and Jake! Oh, nickels spent and dollars saved! For once full dress was branded as a fake, And none were shaved, you bet, and none were shaved! MYVHY IS the bridegroom more ex- pensive than the bride?”” “Because the bride is always given away, while the bridegroom is usually “ PROGRESS VS, POVERTY.” comicbooks.com