Judge — May 13, 1911 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

4% By HOMER CROY. OHNSON, HIRAM.—Hiram John- son, known in the West as the Gov- ernor of California and in the East as the owner of a 1907-model automobile, is forty-four years old and forty-six inches around the waist. He holds the great international Marathon campaign record, having ridden 13,000 miles in a 1907 automobile, canvassing his State for the governorship. As the oppos- ing Democrat scored only 11,050 miles, Johnson was duly declared elected and official notice sent out that fond parents could now begin naming Brown. their children Hiram J. 5 Smith. Jones. Hiram Johnson is now merely Governor of California, but once he was a man of consequence, whose slightest word was law, who could put on spats in the morning and make them the rage by noon, who could walk down Broadway at noon with a toothpick planted in the left-hand corner of his mouth and have the streets littered with kindling wood by six o’clock—for he was then pitcher on the University of California nine. Boy- hood pals, who lay awake all night devising ways and means of being seen walking up the campus with him the next morning, who predicted a career forhim, now sigh and turn the conversation by saying that they’ve heard he has some kind of office or other down to Sacramento. During the last semester of his junior year his work consisted of six hours aweek in the university and thirty-six in the parlor of the girls’ dorm. Marrying and leaving college, he opened a law office, with an elec- tric alarm on the door. The strain of waiting for it to go off during the first three months was so great that he had to give up coffee. Stumping 13,000 miles in the State and having school children come out and sing songs while waving flags and the’ teachers make introductory speeches had no terrors for him; but EVOLUTION OF THE EASTER BONNET. when he was told the day after his election that he would have to attend the inaugural ball in adress suit, he grew vio- lent and tried to resign, so that they had to telegraph his wife to come and quiet him. He smashed his right hand in his left palm and said it was a mean, low-down trick and that he would see them in Palo Alto before he would appoint a single one of them on his staff. He said he had never worn a silk hat in all his life, quoted something about being true to thine own self and the night would follow the day, and walked off from the committee with defiant-arched shoulders. OWETT, JOHN H.—The Rev. Dr. John Henry Jowett, the new shepherd in the Fifth Avenue Presbyterian Church, New York, was born in England, fort: years ago, and has a bulging brow and a classical education. He has come to New York to point the way to that other place, so far from Fifth Avenue, where treasures may also be laid up, where corruption does not enter nor moths break in. All the way over on the Mauretania he feared that the offer of $12,000 a year the church had made him would be too much; but after he had made one shopping tour in New York and ordered chops, his uneasiness vanished and with a breath of relief he found that, in addition, he was to get an $8,000-a- year parsonage, Dr. Jowett has a code of signals after his name and a bristling mustache, and has put his hand on the King’s shoulder and asked him how the family was. Dr. Jowett’s duty is to tell Fifth Avenue how it can go to Wall Street six days a week and still have hope. On Sunday morning when an out-of-town preacher is coming to fill his pulpit, he does not have to get up half an hour early to get his black coat into shape; and when they have a benefit for him,any- body would blush behind the ears to bring anything less valuable than a silver service, At asalary of $12,000 a year, a clergyman can afford to pluck some pretty charred brands from the burning—and,good- ness knows! _ the plucking is good on Fifth Avenue. comicbooks.com