Judge, 1911-04-08 · page 9 of 24
Judge — April 8, 1911 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The top section satirizes evolving women's fashion through exaggerated costume sketches labeled with humorous predictions—suggesting increasingly practical or absurd garments (golf attire, tennis wear, etc.). The essay below mocks diamond culture through deadpan irony. It presents diamonds as status symbols worn by unlikely figures: senators, waiters, boxers, and corrupt aldermen—suggesting diamonds signify both wealth and moral questionability. The humor lies in treating diamonds' inflated value as absurd while simultaneously noting their genuine use as pawn collateral ("frighten the wolf from the door"). The final joke, "Heredity," shows a small figure asking an older man if that's his uncle—implying either inheritance of diamonds or commentary on family resemblance through material possessions rather than genetics. The essay's closing line—that diamonds' rising value has "augment[ed] the cost of loving"—cynically suggests marriage itself has become commodified, with diamond engagement rings representing love's commercialization.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SOME HINTS FOR FUTURE FASHIONS. AT Ine ‘Orrice gest tae Tac Fou THE Wag 7UB AND PACK PERCE A SHORT ESSAY ON DIAMONDS. By STUART B. STONE. IAMONDS are bright, hard bits of low teeth, and other recesses too humor- Africa and Brazil, although great quan- carbon used for feeding the flames ous to mention. tities are manufactured in Minneapolis, of love. They are also the only known Most diamonds come from South Rochester, and other flour centers. substance capable of scratch- ing a marble heart. Diamonds are of many col- ors, ranging from the ex- tremely expensive green and white varieties to the hardly less costly black diamonds which the coal dealers advance in price about the first of De- cember. Diamonds are worn by Uni- ted States Senators, head wait- ers, pugilistic champions, baseball stars, Chicago alder- men, and all those who need to feel solicitous about the in- come tax. They are displayed upon the fingers, hair, ears, and throat, and—at the opera —are used to envelop the en- tire body. At the customs re- ceptions upon returning from abroad, diamonds are worn in HEREDITY. hat linings, French heels, hol- “ Say, pop, is that my uncle?" Besides the trumping of heart suits, diamonds have many other useful purposes. Stolen from actresses and mounted in newspaper head- lines, they make splendid ad- vertising. Deposited with the pawnbroker, their dazzle and brilliance serve to frighten the wolf from the door. Placed upon the third fingerof a lady’s left hand, they indicate private reservation of space. They are also used to cut glass, to form the eyes of gods of ad- venturous fiction, and to throw the performance in the shade at the opera. Diamonds, in common with butter and eggsand votes, have been increasing in value of late. This advance has tended greatly to augment the cost of loving. comicbooks.com