Judge, 1911-04-08 · page 8 of 24
Judge — April 8, 1911 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece mocks society page journalism by having a circus press agent write the society column. The joke: he applies inflated carnival advertising language to mundane social events—describing a simple tea party as "dazzling splendor" blending "wonders of the Orient with marvels of the Occident," and a bridge game as "the grandest, noblest...expense informal bridge party ever conceived." The satire targets two things: the absurd hyperbole of circus promoters and the pretentiousness of high-society reporting. By using exaggerated language for ordinary events (weddings, dinners, receptions), the piece exposes how ridiculous both circus hype and society journalism sound. The accompanying cartoons show the "Modern Version" with simpler language, emphasizing the contrast between inflated rhetoric and reality—mocking both carnival showmanship and upper-class vanity.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE CIRCUS PRESS AGENT'S SOCIETY COLUMN. By MORRIS ANDERSON. THE society editor was sick again and all the reporters were out on various assign- ments, when the circus press agent drifted in to chat with his old friends, the society notes were thrust into his hands and his aid was demanded. The society column next day read as follows: The engagement of Miss Mabelle Smithski, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. John Smithski, to Dr. de Jones has been announced, The wedding will take place early in June. For day and date, see invitations and handbills. The enter- tainment will be one of the most beauti- ful, sumptuous, surprising, magnificent, and opulent eye feasts ever conceived by mortal man, and an effort will be made to eclipse in magnitude and splen- dor all previous exhibitions of a like nature. Mrs. von de Johnson en- tertained a large and colos- sal tea party at her palatial home yesterday afternoon. The scene was one of daz- zling splendor, blending the wonders of the Orient with the marvels of the Occident. Beautiful Chi- nese lanterns shed soft lights and sweet-scented tallow upon the throng of merry women. The hostess is without doubt the most remarkable, adroit, and dexterous tea entertainer the world ever beheld. Mrs. de Kellie and daugh- ter will give a reception next Thursday. Doors open from three to six p. m., the performance being continuous and will take place rain or shine. Mrs. von de O'Briene entertained in- formally last Friday at bridge. It was positively the grandest, noblest, most original, elegant, artistic, and expensive informal bridge party ever conceived, and twice the size of last season's superb efforts, Mr. Lycurgus Brown entertained his friends at dinner last Tuesday—a dinner so inconceivable and amazing in its lav- ce Veaeast ish wealth of new splendors as to be im- possible of duplication. Everything ab- solutely new from beginning to end, and, though it cost a small fortune to pre- sent, it was given absolutely as free as the air we breathe and was worth com- ing miles to see and partake of. This crowning triumph of culinary magnifi- cence took place at nine p. m. Mr. and Mrs. H. Pocus will give a six o'clock dinner next Wednesday. Doors open one hour earlier. The marriage of Marie Alma Hamburg and the Duke of Noaccountee took place last evening in the magnificent, new, rainproof residence of the bride’s father. All the guests were richly caparisoned in the most opulent manner. No ex- pense was spared in making this the most imposing and transcendentally beau- tiful and magnificent wedding ever held in the Land of the Free. The mother of the bride alone wore at least a paste bucket full of jewels. Hosts of flower girls, gorgeously costumed lady attend- ants to the bride, ring bearers in elegant regalia, thousands of lights, millions of flowers, and strains of sublime music THE MODERN VERSION “Mother can I get in the sim ” Sure, my darling daugh- ter: Hang your skirton a hickory mb, And dress as your brother oughter.”” made a realistic pic- ture of iridescent splendor, eloquently expressing even more than printed de- scription the fabulous wealth of the father z = E.R. Kermmie. A FISHING SMACK. of the bride. The bride was dressed in richly embroidered cloth and other ex- pensive objects and carried a beautiful bouquet of one-hundred-dollar bills and forget-me-nots, the royal groom’s favor- ite flowers. It was with doubt the fea- ture wedding of the season and eclipses in its lavish expenditures all the seeming extrava- gances of the past. The bride and groom will take apartments in Paris until the count’s historic family seat is rebuilt and the mortgages are paid off. The castle was destroyed in the seventeenth century. Not Her Cheeks. ARY had a little paint, Now, don’t misjudge her, pray! For all that Mary dear did paint Was china, by the way. Misinterpreted. President of company— “Young man, this is a re- sponsible position you're seeking and to hold it you- 've got to deliver the goods.”” Young man—“Then I don’t want it. I’m not a delivery-wagon driver.” HE NUMBER of doc- tors continues to grow, And the graveyards con- tinue to add row by row. comicbooks.com