Judge — April 8, 1911 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ence between the Alcaic measure and the Sapphic! Oh, the horrorof it! I might mention famous song writers—among them the gifted author of ‘Only a Picture of Her Boy’—who could not tell a vil- lanelle from a rondeau. What a boon it will be to such aspiring but undeveloped geniuses to learn, for example, that the hexameter line consists of five dactyls and a spondee or trochee, and that a spondee may take the place of each of the first four dactyls! The modern school of popular song writing may be completely revolutionized by the knowl- edge that the pentameter never is used alone, but, with a hexameter preceding it in the distich, forms elegiac verse. All praise to the founder of this chai I never have concurred in Cicero's dic- tum, ‘N. mur poeta, In this chorus of commendation there has been heard only one dissenting voice. Mr. Barney Delaney, author of ‘Levi Is a Grand Old Name,"’ confesses frankly that he isnot an academician, ‘*Why, I got most of them guys lashed to the mast,’’ he observed; ‘‘and, up to the time you showed me that bunk of Al's, l always thought a trochee was what you put in your throat! I'll bet Charley Har- ris don’t know a hexameter from a taxa- meter, but look at the heart in his stuff! Remember that: “Down fell the glass, that's all, Just as my heart was after the ball’? pet, broken, “I can ery yet when I hear them words. Yes, and they was a million copies sold! Poe and Pope! Johnson’s asmart dinge, though I always thought Bob Cole done most of his stuff, at that; but whoever heard of the rest of them THE DOUBLE-CROSS. boobs? Chair of poetry! Cul, you can take it from me, a chair of poetry for Tin Pan Alley is going to be about as much good as ten cents’ worth of ice at the North Pole!’’ Getting Started. “es HICH shali it be? Which shall it be?’”’ I looked at John, John looked at me; And then John heaved a little sigh And ordered corn, but I took rye. Good Reason. Mrs. Loren Yet—‘ But why do you ob- ject to the trouserette skirt?”” Mrs. Hugh Mur--‘‘Why, I caught John going through my pockets last His Expensive Home. ASKED the chicken, ‘‘Why so proud?’" He changed his weight to t’other leg And answered, chirpingly and loud, “They hatched me from a four-cent egg!” Still Looking for a Job. Employer-~"'I want a boy who is ab- solutely trustworthy. Do you ever give business secrets away?” Applicant—‘‘Not much, boss! I sells ‘em."” The Spinster. ‘HE SPINSTER is a funny bird That sits against the wall, And—is it not a name absurd?— She never spins at all! “|NCUBATORS ue THE MIDWAY. Mr. Cochin-china—"* Apparently we have but few admirers, dear."” Mrs. Cochin-china (angrily)—"* No wonder@when a money-maddened man- agement appeals to vulgar curiosity by assigning space to orphan asylums !"” comicbooks.com