Judge, 1911-04-08 · page 18 of 24
Judge — April 8, 1911 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine *Judge* contains multiple short humorous pieces targeting early 20th-century social topics: **"The Games We Used To Play"** nostalgically describes children's kissing games, with the repeated refrain about bashful girls resisting advances—likely poking fun at Victorian courtship conventions and gender dynamics. **"Shy Southern Bridegrooms"** features a Black maid's dialect humor, recounting that the bridegroom "nebber came"—a stereotype-based joke playing on regional and racial caricatures. **"Reasonable Logic"** shows a child's innocent logic about cow-spanking, typical humor of the era. **"The Universal Claim"** satirizes automobile advertisements' competing claims about lowest maintenance costs. **"To the Suffragette"** presents skeptical verse about women's suffrage and Prohibition ("dry or wet"), suggesting political opposition to both movements. **"Polly Flinders Up to Date"** modernizes the nursery rhyme by having customs officials catch the character smuggling clothes—commenting on tariffs or import regulations. The page reflects period attitudes toward women, minorities, automobiles, and progressive social movements.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
DE PROFUNDIS The mermaid, always in the swim, Now feels extremely pert, For she is built on proper lines To wear a hobble skirt The Games We Used To Play. By CAROLYN WELLS. oO THE games we used to play, Long ago and far away, When we sang with hearts aglow, “How oats, beans, and barley ow!" “Kiss her when you get her in You'd advance with sheepish grin; First she'd try to run away, Then she'd blush and, pouting, say: peas, yo nt “Twon't let you kiss me! I don't like this game!" Ah, the bashful girl heart is always just the same! Rosy fingers spreading Over her face, like this, Welcoming, yet dreading, your approach- ing kiss. Post-office was lots of fun— “Seven letters for Pet Dunn!"’ Then you'd give the maiden meek Seven kisses on her cheek. But, perhaps, of all the rest You liked Copenhagen best; You'd slap Dotty’s chubby fist, But she'd say, ere she was kissed: “T won't let you kiss me! I don’t like this game!” Ah, the bashful girl heart is always just the same! Rosy fingers spreading O'er her face, like this, Welcoming, yet dreading, your appreach- ing kiss, Shy Southern Bridegrooms. oe ELL, how was the wedding last night, Lily Ros asked Mrs. Lane of the dusky maid in her Maryland home. With gleaming teeth, launched into a sea of description—the blaze of candles, the possum supper, the bride's gown, and so on. “And what about the bridegroom, Lily Rose? You haven't said a word about him.’” “Ho, Mis’ Lane!" giggled **Dat fool man nebber came Reasonable Logic. 66Q AY, mamma, where do the cows get their milk?"’ asked little Jes- sie very seriously, looking up from the foaming pan of milk she had been in- tently regarding. ell, dearie, where do you ge as the mother's questioning r Jessie had spent several 'y thoughtful silence, she Lily ly Rose. answer. Af moments of again broke out, “Oh, mamma, do the cows have to be spanked?” The Universal Claim. UTOMOBILE ads. all tell us, In their book rich embossed, That the auto they are boosting Has the lowest up-keep cost, All Spin and No Toil. BSERVING a lot of loafers about the store, the drummer observed, “Those must be the fellows who neither toil nor spin."* “They t toil grocer, ‘‘but they do spin a good many none," said the yarns.”” To the Suffragette. Py WILLIAM RENO KANE 1? LIKE to see the suffragette Go marching to the poll. To vote to make it dry or we I'd like to see the suffragette. The issue (?) then would be well met, For sure a knell would toll. I'd like to see the suffragette Go marching to the Pole! Polly Flinders Up to Date. ITTLE Polly Flinders sat among the cinders, Lamenting over all her woes! A lesson had been taught her, For customs men had caught her Smuggling in her nice new clothes. The Luckier Man. DAM aw “Any than Samson will be with his hair." Ke and missed a rib, he cried, **I'm luckier OME little spring onions, now and then, Are relished by the best of men, Mr. Newwed—“wuat IN TRONDER 18 THIS PERFUME ON MY SHAVING BrusH 7” Mrs. Newwed—“WaY, DARLING, 1 HEARD YOU SAY THAT TRE HAIR WAS OUT 80 1 PUT SOME HAIR TONIC ON IT.” comicbooks.com