Judge — March 25, 1911 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Before and After. By A.B. LEWIS. LOVED a pretty maiden— She was all the world to me; She had the rocks and could darn socks So neat and prettily. I won that pretty maiden; But here is just the rab— She spends her rocks, I darn the soeks, While she is at the club, The Last Luxury. N-YEAR-OLD Arthur had been tell- ing impressively of the number of servants employed in his home. He con- tinued: ‘‘And our house is fixed so t if you want a drink, or a window raised, or to go upstairs, or anything, all you have to do is to pull a chain!" “But what do you want with so many servants in that sort of a house?" asked one of his hearers. “‘Oh,"’ replied Arthur, ‘‘we have the servants to pull the chains. “*As Sure as the Vine."" AS SURE as the vine grows round the stump, He's a lucky old chap who holds the trump. Where Many Stop. 66\JOU DON'T hear that ‘Put me off at Buffalo’ cry much nowadays."" “*No; Reno seems to have been sub- stituted for Buffalo.’’ Fatal to Success. Tes suffrage movement, I'm con- vinced, Will ne’er become the rage, If on the registration books They have to give their age. =W ROOSEVELT’S FAILING. Farmer Weati ‘em th’ ‘ Rooseyvelt Deacon Buxzle Farmer We them's all ‘I's 1 Remember. By DON CAMERON SHAFER REMEMBER, I remember The house where I was born, The little stairway where my Came calling me at morn. vax —'* These here pertaters air ov my raisin’, an’ I've named “ Named yer potatoes arter Teddy Rooseyvelt, eh? What fer ?"’ therwax—'* Wa-al, Deak yew come tew look ‘em over an’ most ov Farm, as his Wall Street Holdings were constantly increasing. “Ah, my Unfortunate Brother,’’ said dad pathy! In thunder tones he used to yell Till I was up and gone Upon my way to get the cows Before the peep of dawn. And then I had to throw down hay To feed each patient beast, And fill the woodbox every day— It took two cords at least. I did the milking, shelled the And ‘gave the horses grain corn, Then worked like fun from sun to sun And did those chores again. PERHAPS the young wife wo nearer making ‘‘bread like moth- er’s”” supply the dough lik Dox't hitch you! to a star uld come if her husband would e father. rr wagon the Grasshopper, How you, who are only cut out u have my sym- for work, must en- vy my advantage over you in being able to Jump and Sing and to Fly!"" Ry we ; Unless your income’s growing, Your wheels are oiled, and you expect Some pretty rapid going. The Grasshopper and the Ant Again. A STROLLING Grasshop- per Minstrel came one day upon an Ant Farmer making hay according to the latest Scientific Principles inculeated by the Bureau of Agriculture. Incidentally ne was turning over in his mind the question of buying anew Auto and installing a Wire- less Station on his Home “" Ah, my Unfortunate Brother,’ said the Grass- hopper, ‘you have my sympathy. How you, who are only cut out for work, must envy myad- vantage over you in being able to Jump and Sing and to Fly.’ The Ant, deciding before he spoke to put in the wireless plant, replied, “That's all right, my friend! tility’s all very well in its way, but these days the specialist’s the one who really gets ahead!"" Moral: The knocker is outside the door. Versa- SPECIFICATIONS FOLLOWED. “Well, Mame would have it that I should take her out and plow her sky-high an’ spread myself. I 'm satisfied if she is."’ comicbooks.com