Judge, 1911-03-04 · page 18 of 24
Judge — March 4, 1911 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical humor typical of Judge magazine's style. The top section, "Headlines We Never See," lists absurd or unlikely newspaper headlines—a pugilist staying quiet, peasant uprisings being peaceful, a poet dying wealthy—mocking the sensational or predictable nature of actual news. The central cartoon, "A Little Shell Game," shows roosters with eggs, illustrating a column by "The Jester" discussing Andrew Carnegie's claim that nothing stands still. The satire uses everyday observations (crowded subways, Swiss cheese pricing) to mock social commentary. The page includes brief humor columns on various topics: a women's suffrage joke, a practical maiden who wants financial security rather than romance, and commentary on wealth and happiness. The bottom cartoon "Making It Easier" shows a debt collector and debtor joking about moving to the basement to make bill collection easier—dark humor about poverty. The advertisements mixed throughout reflect early 1900s concerns: aviators, real estate, and currency reform.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
=— S°& AODAMS= Headlines We Never See. By STUART B. STONE. UGILIST Refuses To Talk. All Quiet in Honduras. Actors Celebrate Golden Wedding An- niversary. French Count Weds Poor American Girl. Murderer Pays Penalty on Scaffold. Apartment House Burns—Many Chil- dren Rescued. FASHION NOTE FOR AVIATORS. The Hobbled Aeroplane. Aviator Falls on Strawstack—Right Side Up with Care. Baseball Pitcher Asks for Decreased Salary—Confesses Inability To Earn as Much Digging Coal or Mixing Highballs. Poet Leaves Large Estate. S. Shapinsky’s Clothing Store Burns —No Insurance. Diaz Resigns. Provisions Cheaper — Dollar Much Further Now. Hearse Runs into Auto—Chauffeur Killed. Suffragettes Disperse Quietly. Goes A LITTLE “SHELL GAME." This Funny World of Ours As the Jester Sees It. R. CARNEGIE sagely informs the world that ‘nothing is standing still."’. The truth of this is undeniable, but we think if Mr. Carnegie will try the subway some night during the rush hour he will find that there's lots that’s still standing. It is said that, since the disfranchise- ment of all the male voters in Adams County, Ohio, a move. ment has taken defi- nite shape to have the next Legislature change the name of the locality to Eve's County. The cost of living might go much higher, oh, ye sour-visaged belaborers of condi- tions! Take the Swiss cheese, for instance— suppose Swiss cheeses, instead of being sold by the pound, were sold by the hole? The talk now is for “Mobile Currency."” It is a fine idea, but, after all, who cares where the currency comes from? The party of the first part in this paragraph will welcome it, whether it is Mobile, New Orleans, Kalamazoo, or even Salt Lake City currency. We can use two bales right off, if the consignor chooses to send them on. We beg to call the attention of the man who is tired of the ceaseless grind of city life and desires to gu back to the joys of the farm that the farm of the late Count Tolstoy is in the market and can be acquired for the mere bagatelle of $1,500,000. Maud's Rake-off. AUD MULLER, on a winter's eve, Raked in more coin than you'd be- lieve. Maud had a booth at our church fair, And was the prettiest maiden there. The Practical Maiden. He-—‘‘Darling, be and your smallest wishes shall ever be fulfilled.”’ She (coldly)—**I am able to do that myself. What I want is a man who mine will gratify my biggest wishes.” Holds Good. OME adages threaten to wane, They pale on us once in a while; Yet one, slightly changed, we retain— A miss is as good as her smile! HERE is about as much use ina fat man trying to make folks believe he is sick as there is for a fellow with a million dollars trying to make anybody believe he isn’t happy. TN Gee MAKING IT EASIER. Collector—'* I'm tired of climbing these stairs every day to collect this bill.”” Debroke—"' Well, bere 's good news for you 1'm moving to the basement to-morrow."* comicbooks.com