Judge — March 4, 1911 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Real Goblins. ‘Once there was a little girl Who tried to smuggle things, And when the dock inspectors came She up and hid her rings; And when they asked her what she had, She just said, ‘‘Nothin’, sir! Although she knew it wasn’t true— She had ’em all on her, And when they had her searched, oh, my! They found ’em in her hair!— And the customs men’ll get you Ef you don’t de-clare. Then there was a little boy Who bought a lot of clothes And handkerchiefs and shirts and things And underwear and hose; And as he landed on the dock He looked just like a saint. When asked if he’d bought things abroad, He said, ‘No, sir, I ain’t!"’ But when they opened up his trunks, The things they found in there !— And the customs men’ll get you Ef you don’t de-clare. —New York Times. Children Affected BY MOTHER'S FOOD AND DRINK. Many babies have been launched into life with constitutions weakened by dis- ease taken in with their mothers’ milk. Mothers cannot be too careful as to the food they use while nursing their babes. The experience of a Kansas City mother is a case in point: “Twas a great coffee drinker from a child, and thought I could not do with- outit. But I found at last it was doing meharm. For years I had been troubled with dizziness, spots before my eyes, and pain in my heart, to which was added, two years later, a chronic sour stomach. “The baby was born 7 months ago, and almost from the beginning, it, too, suff. from sour stomach. She was taking it from me! “In my distress I consulted a friend of more experience and she told me to quit coffee, that coffee did not make good milk. I have since ascertained that it really dries up the milk. “So I quit coffee and tried tea and at last cocoa. But they did not agree with me. Then I turned to Postum, with the happiest results. It proved to be the very thing I needed. It not only agreed + perfectly with baby and myself, but it increased the flow of my milk. “My husband then quit coffee and used Postum and quickly got well of the dys- pepsia with which he had been troubled. I no longer suffer from the dizziness, blind spells, pain in my heart, or sour stomach, “Now we all drink Postum, from my husband to my seven months’ old bab It has proved to be the best hot drink we have ever used. We would not give up Postum for the best coffee we ever drank.”” Name given by » Mich, the little book, Iville,”” in packag. There's a Reasor Ever read the above letter? A new one appears from time to Ume. They are genuine, true, and full of human interest. Postum Co., Battle “The Road to JUDGE'S FAVORITE. TO ELSIE JANIS IN “THE SLIM PRINCESS.” AT THE GLOBE THEATER. Oh, Slim Princess, No need to guess : We one and all Our love confess. Those eyes of brown Would never frown If on your brow We'd place a crown. Your subjects, we Applaud with glee. You rule the world Of mimicry. Will A, Page. The Gadder's Rubaiyat. (Traoslated from the Persian.) When you are eating in the dining-car, Try not to use the knife. A sudden jar May cause the knife to slip and cut your mouth, No matter how experienced you are. —Chicago Tribune. Selfishness. Many a man is more interested in his family tree than in the preservation of the forests.—Philadelphia Record. | Wh imPROVE your \ Post TION. AcING PR RMON OS R0000 THE GRITE PERN —London Punch. | For Spring NOW ON SALE 178-180 Fitth Ave. 867 Fifth Ave. | 181 Broadway Chicago Philadelphia The Wellington 916 Chestnut 8t, Accredited Agencies in all Principal Cities of the World Fooled the Hens. During a discussion of the difference between the high cost of living and the cost of high living, at the Curbstone Club, Wednesday night, the Ancient Carpenter vouchsafed the following: “It just seems like everything con- spires to make things harder for a man when prices are high. Now, for in- stance, I know that all of my hens inten- tionally stop laying when eggs are worth their weight in gold—just when they ought to do their very best!’ “Smoke up! Your pipe’s going out!’’ sarcastically exclaimed the Real-estate Man. “*Fact,’’ continued the Ancient Car- penter. ‘‘But I fooled the critters. I got a sign painted with the words, ‘Eggs ten cents a dozen,’ and hung it in the coop. Now the hens are laying two and three eggs each every day, and some of them are even working nights.’’— Youngstown Telegram. No Need to Bluff. First waiter—‘‘That’s his wife he's got with him.”” Second waiter—*‘What makes think so?’” First. waiter—“He picked up the quarter and left me the dime, and she was looking right at him all the time.’’ —Detroit Free Press. you Pears’ “There’s no place like home,” and no soap like Pears’. Pears’ Soap is found in millions of homes the world over. Sold Everywhere. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com