Judge — March 4, 1911 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Without your tip my money wouldn't earn anything for m without my y your tip wouldn't be worth any- Working together’”. aid Bildad. y, Dubkins was not at mone thing to you. “I'll go you, Strange to all unwilling. “A tip?’? he said, when he realized what Bildad was driving at. ‘Why, certainly."" “I mean one of Moneypenny Bildad, “Of course, of course “IT heard him discussing small profits the other night, and he said that if one would be satisfied with only one per he'd make bil- id Dubkins. cent. in a certain line lions."* “One per cent, ain't much,”’ said Bil- dad ruefully. “I am only telling you what Mr. Moneypenny said," said Dubkins. “And he proved the truth of it in his illustra- tion. ‘Why, Dubkins,’ said he, ‘if you could go out on the street to-morrow and buy’ Dubkins paused. “IT don’t know, though, whether I'd better tell you or not, Bildad, “After all, [occupy such a confi "he said. tial relation to the old man™* “Do goon! Do goon The idea of being so close to cried Bildad eagerly. fortune and then having to draw back was too much for him, Dubkins, can't tell you, old chap; I'll ask Mr. Moneypenny in the rising. = 'T that is, not said now. THE PREVA morning if I can tell you what he said, and if he says yes and you can put the thing through Il, Rockernegie Bondifeller won't be in it with you.”” Bildad and vink that night and when morning came they were both nervous wrecks. Biffles spent apart of the forenoon getting a certified check for his ten thousand for use in action Mr. inclined to be helpful Biffles scarcely slept a immedi in case Moneypenny to them, way, the two speculators sauntered into At noon, in quite a casual the Moneypenny headquarters and in- vited Dubkins out to lunch. They gave him a good one, too. The bill came to sixteen dollars, which is some lunch. Finally, when the demitasse was served, Bildad playfully reverted to the tip. “Don’t suppose you dared ask the old man about that small-profit venture?"’ he said. “Oh, yi * said Dubkins. ‘‘I had forgotten. Why, of course I dared him, I dared ‘a cipal among which easons, prin- » fact that it shows him how éareful I am about re- peating anything I hear him say."” “That's good,"’ quivered Bildad, his kne« “But, of course, he s repeat’’—— “On the contrary,"’ Dubkins, “the said that the illustration proved his point so thoroughly as to the vast gains involved in a small percentage of profit that I really ought to spread i “L-l-let’s h-have an-unother shaking with nervous excitement id no, you couldn't said around, "” dud-d- ILING MODES. Passer —‘* Those women make me wish I were an artist.” Bye—"* Huh! Passer—"* Me, either ; a chance to see what a woman looks like."’ I don’t notice anything so artistic about those women.”* . but if I were an artist maybe I ‘d be in the life class, and then I'd get A GOOD REASON You tell yer missus I can't attend her ball night But you weren't invited.”” I know. That 's why I can’t come."* drink,” Bildad, with joy. “‘T mum-move we make it a small bot- tle, aid Biffles. “That sounds good to me, and the fluid was ordere st what was the transaction referred to, Mr. Dubkins?"’ said Biffles, after they had quaffed one glassful of bubbles apiece. “Why,’’ said Dubkins, ‘Mr. Moneypenny said that with only one per cent. profit a man who could buy 1 the dollars in this world at nine- ty-nine cents apiece would be a bil- lionaire in a minute, stammered overcome said Dub- It was a dog- goned good illustration, don’t you think so?” And, strange to say, Bildad found it far from convincing; and as for Biffles, he hi ffered so from nerv- ous dyspepsia ever since that lunch that the mere mention of Dubkins’s name not only destroys his appetite, violent attacks of but induces nausea, Time Will Tell. NLY waiting till the socialists Are a little older grown, Only waiting till their orchards Of Wisconsin are in bloom. PAMity trees, like other kinds, often need pruning. comicbooks.com