Judge — January 7, 1911 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

INGENIOUS CHILD. Tot's parents refused to buy him a toy horse, so he had to make one for himself. — Pele Mele. A Sad Week. The year had gloomily begun For Willie Weeks, a poor man’s Sun. He was beset with bill and dun, And he had very little “This cash,’’ said he, ‘won't pay my dues; I've nothing here but ones and Mon. Tues.”” A bright thought struck him and he said, | “The rich Miss Goldbricks I | will Wed."" But when he paid his court to | her, | She lisped, but firmly said, ‘‘No, Thur.’” “‘Alas!"’ said he; ‘‘then I must die! I'll drown—I'1l burn Fri.” | They found his gloves, and coat and hat; The coroner upon them Sat. —Printed by special permission of His Nibs, Imperial Potentate, Fred A. Hines, Al Malaikah. Sugar-coated. “How did you persuad to learn kitchen work? “By calling it domestic science.”"— Washington Herald. | ‘our daughter The Wretch. “He has tricked me for the last time!"" What is his latest roguery?"" “He borrowed my revolver, ostensibly to commit suicide, and then went and | pawned it.’’—Louisville Courier-Jour- | nal. Pears’ Pears’ Soap leaves the skin healthy. alkali in Pears’. Only good soap and smooth, cool and There’s no free pure. Sold here and abroad. Too Personal. Patrolman Casey had ordered a pair of shoes at Rosenbrig’s store and was about to try one of them on when the clerk reached for it and deftly sprinkled some French chalk in it to ease the forthcom- ing strain. When he handed it back, the patrolman threw it on the floor, pulled on his own shoe, and started out. The proprietor had noted the scene. ‘What's the matter, Mr, Casey?'’ he panted, as he caught up with him. **Was the clerk sassy or anything?” For a moment Casey glared at him in almost speechless anger, then observed with icy dignity, If I can’t come into a place to thry on a pair av shoes widout havin’ chlooride av lime put in thim be forehand, I'll thrade somewhere ilse. —Success. Got It. GOT SOMETHING ELSE TOO. “I liked my coffee strong and I drank it strong,’’ says a Pennsylvania woman, telling a good story; ‘and although I had headaches nearly every day, I just would not believe there was any connec- tion between the two. I had weak and heavy spells and palpitation of the heart, too, and although husband told me he thought it was coffee that made me so poorly, and did not drink it himself for he said it did not agree with him, yet I loved my coffee and thought I just couldn’t do without it. “One day a friend called at my home —that was a year ago. I spoke about how well she was looking and she said: “*Yes, and I feel well, too. It’s be- cause I am drinking Postum in place of ordinary coffee.’ “I said, what is Postum? “Then she told me how it was a food- drink and how much better she felt since using it in place of coffee or tea, so 1 sent to the store and bought a package and when it was made according to di- rections it was so good I have never bought a pound of coffee since. I began to improve immediately. “IT cannot begin to tell you how much better I feel since using Postum and leaving coffee alone. My health is bet- ter than it has been for years and I can- not say enough in praise of this delicious food-drink.’" Take away the destroyer and put a re- builder to work and Nature will do the That’s what you do when Postum t coffee’s place in your diet. ‘‘There’s a Reason."’ Read the little book, ‘‘The Road to Wellville,”’ in packages. Ever read the above letter? A new one appears from time to Ume. They are genuine, true, and full of human interest. Not for Him. Fi ‘Don’t you wish you could live your life over again?” Fogg ‘Well, I should say not! I’ve got a twenty-year endowment policy ma- turing this month. Boston Transcript. There Are Others. “We won't print any such stuff as that!’’ said the editor loftily, as he handed back the manuscript. “Well, you needn’t be so haughty about it,’ retorted the irregular con- tributor. ‘‘You're not the only one who won't print it.’’—London Tit-Bits. It’s a Safety with Real Razor Blades Standard Set, including Stropping Attachment and 6 Double-edged, Hollow ground blades, $5 Extra Blades, 6 for 0 cents, Send for Booklet today. DURHAM DUPLEX RAZOR CO., 111 Fifth Ave., New York DURHAM DUPLEX RAZOR CO., Lid, 86 Strand, Londen m answering advertisements please mention JUDGE, It will be appreciated. Where the Danger Lay. The judge of the juvenile court, lean- ing forward in his chair, looked search- ingly from the discreet and very ragged pickaninny before his desk to the ample and solicitous form of the culprit’s mother. “Why do you send him to the railroad yards to pick up coal?’’ demanded his honor. ‘You know it is against the law to send your child where he will be in jeopardy of his life.” “* Deed, jedge, I doesn’t send 'im; I nebber has sent 'im, ’deed’’. “‘Doesn’t he bring home the coal?’’ interrupted the judge impatiently. “But, jedge, [ whips 'im, jedge, ebery time he brings it; I whips de little rap- scallion till he cayn’t set, ‘deed I does.’" The careful disciplinarian turned her broad, shiny countenance reprovingly upon her undisturbed offspring, but kept a conciliatory eye for the judge. “You burn the coal he brings, do you not?”’ persisted the judge. “Burns it—burns it? Cose I burns it. W'y, jedge, I has got to git it out ob de way." “*Why don’t you send him back with it?"’ His honor smiled insinuatingly as he rasped out the question. “Send ‘im back, jedge!’’ exclaimed the woman, throwing up her hands in a gesture of astonishment. ‘‘Send ‘im back! W’y, jedge, ain’t yo’ jest done told me I didn’t oughter send my chile to no sech dange’some and jeopardous place?”’— Youth's Companion. Young at the Business General Howard was an invited guest at a dinner given by a boys’ patriotic club. ‘You eat very well, my boy,” said the general to a doughty young trencherman. “If you love your flag as well as your dinner, you'll make a good hive tra » sir,”’ said the boy; ‘but I've been practicing eating twelve years, and Lain’t owned a gun but six months,’’— Success. comicbooks.com .