Judge, 1911-01-07 · page 20 of 26
Judge — January 7, 1911 — page 20: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"The Wonder of Wonders"** mocks parental pride by describing neighbors' jealousy over a "three-legged" baby—likely a mechanical piano or player piano (the image shows an elaborate machine). The satire targets the absurd status-seeking of ordinary people who boast about possessions while simultaneously abusing them. **"Too Much Reform"** by William J. Burtscher ridicules Swiss calendar reform efforts, specifically a proposal to remove Sunday's traditional date. The poem jokes that young people won't court without Sunday dating—mocking overzealous reformers as impractical busybodies. **Brief jokes** mock conceit, marital knowledge, hobble skirts (fashionable but restrictive women's clothing), and feature a rural character misreading a "Prices Cut in Two" store sign literally. The page exemplifies Judge's blend of social commentary, fashion criticism, and working-class humor targeting both pretentious reformers and common people's foibles.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
* Casey!" “ Phwat?"’ THE WONDER OF WONDERS. “* Oj 'd loike to see the mon w’at plays thot big wan."* Baby. By J.J. SMITH. T LAST Baby had arrived. The ambition of their lives had been realized. Now they could look down withan air of superiority up- on their less fortunate neighbors, for none of them were blessed with a Baby in their families. Many of the neighbors regarded Baby as a monstrosity; indeed, with some justification, for it was three- legged. But not they. They regarded this as a distinction to be proud of. Even the nocturnal tempestuous out- bursts of Baby, although a source of great annoyance to outsiders, seemed to afford them unusual joy. Was it not strange, therefore, that they should eventually tire of Baby and actually begin to abuse it and subject it to such brutal pounding that the neigh- bors felt constrained to lodge a com- plaint with the S. P. C. C., the police department, the board of health, etc., ete, Such, indeed, was th Baby’s condition finally became so sad truth, And wretched and the cost of constant doc- toring was so great that they actually decided to dispose of her. Hence the following newspaper adver- tisement: FOR SALE=At a sacrifice, @ three-cor- nered, solid mahogany, powerful-toned Baby Grand. IS jest ez well to be dead wood ez to be live wood thet ain’t no use to anybuddy. Conceit. AME placed the laurel on his brow. He yelled in anger: ‘*Wait! You've got it too small, anyhow. You know I wear an eight!" An Open Book to Him. 66 JOHN says he knows his wife like a book.’” “Probably he book.”” Like a scrap Bucrerin PRICES Too Much Reform. By WILLIAM J. BURTSCHER. ‘HE SPIRIT of reform Is in the air; It's here, and it’s there, And it’s everywhere. Why, the Swiss are giving Themselves concern, To meet the world In the city of Bern, To change the calendar From January, In a manner most Extraordinary. They wish to leave Sunday Without a date. Which, of course, is something That'll never take. For the boys and the girls Cannot stay sweet, Without their dates On the first of the week. Yes, spirits of reform Are in the air; They’re here, and they're there, And they’re everywhere. Avoiding the Executioner. be HY DOES a hen cross the road?" “So as to avoid getting into the chicken pie.”” A Fitting Style. HE HOBBLE skirt’s most popular In Philadelphia town; Because it makes the gait so slow, ‘Tis there the proper gown. ACCIDENTS WILL HAPPEN. Farmer Buzzle (observing sign on counter) fal! Why, Hank Price an’ his wife Marthy, ‘** Prices cut in two!’ Gosh, hain’t thet dread- an’ th’ three little Prices wuz alive an’ jist es frisky es colts when I left taown this mornin’, an’ there ye air—cut in two !"? comicbooks.com