Judge, 1911-01-07 · page 19 of 26
Judge — January 7, 1911 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains a serialized short story about a man named Smithers who accepts a dare to propose to Miss Jenkins, the most eligible (and resistant) bachelorette in town. The satire targets **romantic conventions of the era**: Smithers's "bravery" in proposing is treated as heroic, yet he's merely following the social script of courtship. The joke is that his theatrical, carefully-crafted proposal—cobbled from "various novels"—succeeds not through genuine courage but because Miss Jenkins has already decided he's brave based on his earlier reputation. The cartoon "Breaking Up Housekeeping" (lower right) satirizes **automobile ownership and financial irresponsibility**: a man has mortgaged his house to buy a car, leaving himself without basic home amenities (bath room, back stairs, library, porch). It mocks the era's automobile craze and working-class aspiration. The "Live While You Live" dialogue jokes about **health fads**: an optimist promotes buttermilk consumption for longevity; a pessimist questions whether extended life is worth the dietary sacrifice—typical period satire of wellness trends.
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ence gradually drifted back to its seats. Smithers was brought to his senses by feeling a slap on his shoulder and hear- ing the exclamation, “By Jove, Smithers, on earth that can fr you idiots scuttled over each other like a lot s there nothing hten you? Here , cool as a cucumber, while we of rabbits at a word from some fool! I'd give anything I know to have the nerve you have!" When the play was over, they decided to give a little supper to Smithers to celebrate this latest manifestation of his bray After indulging in the unusual extravagance of a couple y became and coolne of bottles of champagne, th quite demonstrative over their hero. “Well, Smithe: id one of them, after they had exhausted the eulogistic terms at their command, ‘I know that you are a brave man, but there is one thing that I would be willing to bet e you would not have the nerve to do. “Wl is that?’’ asked Smithers, dreading that his heroism might be put to the test. Miss Jenkins to marry you.” ow Miss Jenkins, only daughter and heiress of the head of the house of Jen- kins & Co., was the acknowledged belle of Pudenford. Every eligible bachelor in the place had laid his hand and heart at her feet, or had come as near to it as he dared to; but each had been decidedly aps a little contemptuously re- fused. They had come to regard her now as almost unapproachable, and were wont to say that nothing short of a duke would satisfy her. Smithers, immensely rel 1 to do anythin and per ed that he that in- was not a volved danger to his p willingly accepted the challenge and his cious person, CARRIED AWAY WITH HIS WORK. BREAKING UP ‘An’ I mortgaged my house to buy that car HOUSEKEEPING I can see where I’m shy a bath room, back stairs, library and part of the piazzer."” friends began to make bets as to whether he would really carry it through, The following afternoon he met Mis Jenkins at a tea. She was very gra- succeeded in getting As soon after as s cious to him and he an invitation to call. propriety permitted he presented him- If at her house, and, after spending a ery delightful hour in her company, he suggested ‘that she should take a walk with him the following Sunday after- noon. She accepted and all went well. As they were strolling in the pictur- esque outskirts of the town, Smithers espied a shady path which promised all the seclusion that he understood was necessary in the case of proposals. He decided to do iton that spot and get it over with, He had backed himself for a small sum, and he felt, too, that if he could only prove his bravery in this act, which had no terrors for him, he might escape being put to the test in any reached the convenient little grove, and as the green walls closed sked her hand in marriage, them in he in a sort of composite of different forms that he had culled from various novels and arranged for this occasion. To his overwhelming astonishment she accepted him. She had heard of his bravery and bestowed her whole heart on ‘ther hero,”’ Fortunately his ‘‘bravery’’ was ne again put toa test, and Smithers lived the happy ending of all stories that are quite suited to an editor’s immediate er wants, Live While You Live. Optimist—Yes, sir, if you'll drink buttermilk three times a day, you'll live ten years longer.”” Pessimist—‘‘But what's the use of living ten years longer if you have to drink buttermilk three times a day?"" ‘CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS. AGENTS AND SALESMEN WANTED. MBITION—Raise yourself in the world by sell- ing Flyaway Dynamite. Big money made on the side. Splendid opportunity of mounting higher. Large stick and particulars 10 cents. The Boost Co, Box 2L, Chicago. GENTS—If we knew your name and address we would ask you to send us $3.00 righ taway this minute for our sample outfit. 1000 per cent. profit. Just out. Sells on sight to blind men and women. Get busy to rush. 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