Judge, 1910-12-31 · page 19 of 27
Judge — December 31, 1910 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge magazine contains several pieces of light satirical humor targeting early 20th-century social conventions: **"Unchanging"** (poem by John Kendrick Bangs): Satirizes romantic fashion cycles. The poet observes that despite changing fashions—from medieval knights fighting over gloves to Victorian crinolines to modern "hobble skirts"—male romantic desire remains constant. The joke: fashion constantly shifts, but human nature doesn't. **"Fine Hunting"**: A brief joke mocking poor marksmanship or cowardice, where "Briggs" claims a successful hunt despite shooting at and hitting nobody. **"Rings and Age"**: A child's joke where a boy remarks his sister should wear "forty rings" (like tree rings indicate age), insulting her assumed age. **"Where Are the Shawls of Yesterday?"**: Nostalgic verse lamenting the disappearance of fashionable shawls worn by earlier generations, noting that only immigrant women ("Ellis Island maidens") still wear them. **Other brief items** mock marital dynamics, theatrical hierarchies, and restaurant pretensions. The page represents typical Judge humor: topical, fashion-focused satire aimed at middle-class readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Unchanging. By JOHN KENDRICK BANGS. N DAYS of old The knights were bold And fought for the dainty glove Of one whose eye Was fixed hard by And filied with the light of love. Fair Helen’s gown, As soft as down, Set Troy and Greece at war. The belt that girt Her flowing skirt Great heroes battled for. In later days The poet's lays Were wrought to ‘My Ladye’s Shoon,"” And bards would fight For the same by night, In the glow of the pallid moon. Then troubadours By scores and scores, With hearts aflame with fire, To laces sang Till the heavens rang With the notes of the lover's lyre. Another age, And Cupid’s page Was thrilled by a maiden’s ruff; And steel-tipped lance Made lovers dance, Till one cried, ‘‘Hold! Enough!’’ And then there came A day of fame When maids wore crinoline. “My Lady’s Hoops”? Made lovers dupes In the days of fifty-nine. And now I find My heart and mind, My very soul's desire, Is Phyllis pert, Whose hobble skirt Has filled my heart with fire! And yet this range Of fashion’s change Is but a change of sleeve! The story told Is still the old Tale Adam told to Eve! abrten. Fine Hunting. 66PQLIGGS said he had a most suc- cessful hunt.’ “Did he get any game?’’ “Oh, no; but he says he shot at nobody, and nobody shot at him.’ The Best. F ALL glad words I love to hear, The gladdest are, “Happy New Year!"" Rings and Age. HILE Johnnie was on his way home from school he was met by his sister and her gentleman caller, who were stroll- ing down the street. “Well, Johnnie, what did you have in school to-day?"’ asked the escort familiarly. “The teacher asked me how I'd tell the age of a tree, and I didn’t know.’” ‘Why, Johnnie, you tell the age of a tree by the number of rings on it.”” “That’s what teacher then told me, and I said that if that was also the way you told a person’s age, sister ought to wear forty rings!"" Chorus gi Manager— A Thin Argument. seALL OUR milk comes from our own farm, ‘way out in the coun- try,"’ said the restaurant proprietor proudly. “*You were very fortunate that your farm escaped the drought,”’ replied the customer, making a wry face. HAPPY medium is one who is do- ing a land-office business. A SOCIETY MOTHER. Calf—" Ba-ab-ab ! I do wish mother wouldn't be so gay. ‘She knows buttermilk doesn’t agree with me."" WELL-FILLED STOCKING. “* And how much do you weigh ?"* “* Ninety pounds in my stockings."* And bow much does the rest of you weigh ?"" Where Are the Shawls of Yesterday? By McLANDBURGH WILSON. ‘VANISHED is the shawl of grandpa, As the dodo and the rest; Never more are manly bosoms By its ample folds caressed, Never more are stately figures In its flowing outlines dressed. Vanished is the shawl of grandma As the hoop of spreading mien, Paisley shawls and weaves from Cachmire Once the presents of a queen, Never now would hipless figures In such drapery be seen. Bridget, Gretchen, Yetta, Catrine, Ellis Island maidens ali, Wrap the folds around you closely, Nor too soon cast off the thrall; You wear all there is remaining Of the glory of the shawl. A Busy Woman. 6 H‘vE you ever wondered about your husband’s past?’’ “Dear me, no! I have all I can do in taking care of his present and worrying about his future.’” Ruling the Stars. Friend—'But don’t your women stars fight over their relative positions on the sign in front of the theater?’’ Vaudeville manager—‘Not a word. I tell them that, in the event of a dis- pute, the older shall have the bigger electric-light display.”’ T SHOULD take more than a mere title to entitle a mere foreigner to an American heiress. comicbooks.com