Judge — December 31, 1910 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Shampoo, Sir?” By ELLIS PARKER BUTLER. HE BARBER had tucked the bib neatly around the gentle- man’s neck and had cut his hair. Only occasionally did the shears pull a hair out by the roots, and the customer dozed through the hair-cutting operation. He was sleeping sweetly when the barber snip- ped off the last remaining long hair. For a moment the barber hesitated, but duty urged him on. “Shampoo, sir?” he said. The gentleman opened his eyes, stared into the mirror, looked at his reflec- tion there, and sighed. ‘‘Beg pardon?’’ he said. “IL said, ‘Shampoo, sir?’’’ repeated the barber. “Oh, did you, did you?’ said the gentleman pleasantly. 'm sure! beg your pardon. I must have been asleep.”” PERILS OF FLYING IN BUGVILLE. Acronaut Bug—"' No wonder the Wrights are so successful, they don't have to look out for spider webs."” “Yes, sir. barber. ‘What's that?’ inquired the cus- tomer. I didn’t just catch""— “Shampoo, sir?’? repeated the bar- ber. ‘Will you have a shampoo, sir?” “Oh, no, no, thank you! Much obliged; but I never eat between meals. Lused to, but my stomach can’t stand it. My wife advised me not to do it.’’ “T guess you didn’t understand me,” said the barber, with a pleasant smile. “T said,‘ Will you have a shampoo, sir?’ ’” “Well, well! I thought you said, ‘Will you have a ham sandwich?’ I must have been thinking of something else. That was odd, wasn’t it?’” “Very odd, sir,”’ said the barber, with a forced laugh. ‘‘Do you care for a shampoo?” “What's that?"’ asked the gentleman. Shampoo, sir?”’ said the “What's what, sir?’’ asked the bar- ber, looking around. “What you said. something.”” “‘A shampoo. I said, ‘Will you have a shampoo, sir?’’’ “Thank you, thank you!" said the gentleman warmly. ‘‘No, I don’t drink—strictly temperate.”” “It isn’t a drink,’’ said the barber. “No?” said the gentleman, with surprise. ‘‘ Sounds like adrink. Real- ly, I'm quite interested. You interest me. Indeed, you do! Now, what is that drink—the one I had in mind. I’m sure I'm right about that. Itis asham- poo. Eggs and whiskey and nutmeg— No, no! You’re right! That’s an egg- nog. I beg your pardon.’” “Thank you, sir,’’ said the barber. “**May I give you a shampoo, sir?’’ “Why, now, that’s awfully kind of you!’’ said the gentleman. ‘You usual- ly have to pay for things you get in a barber shop. It is very liberal of you to give it free. But I won't have any. I don’t like scent on my mustaches.” “You didn’t understand me, sir,’” said the barber patiently. ‘I didn’t say scent. I said, ‘Would you like to have a shampoo, sir?’”” “My mistake, my mistake!’? said the gentleman. ‘Don't worry at all. You meant no harm, I know. These little misunderstandings will occur Sham — sham— HE APPEARED COMPOSED. from time to time. Even my wife’ id the barber hastily. “Well, to tell you the truth,’’ said the gentleman, ‘‘I don’t like to adven- ture with these new fangled things. All these patent medicines’’—— “A shampoo is not a medicine, sir,”” said the barber. “No? Now, that is strange! certainly is strange!”’ The gentleman began to laugh, and the barber looked at him with surprise. “Well, I am an idiot!’’ said the gen- tleman, ‘‘It is a magazine! 1 should have known that. Why, yes, I'll look at the Shampoo.”’ That USE FOR COLD STORAGE. “ What are you going to do with these cold storage eggs ?"” “ My wite bas joined the suffragettes and refuses to lay any more, 80 I'll take these home and hatch ‘em out myself.”” comicbooks.com