Judge — November 26, 1910 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A DIFFERENCE. Pat—"' An’ yer won't give me foive cints fer terbaccy, Mary Ann?" Mary Ann—" Not a cint."” Pat—"" Thin give me a nickel.” Winter Spring Fashions for Men. fy WILBUR D. NESBIT. @oTs will button in front again this year. The fuzz on plush hats will be cut pom- padour. The real swell dressers will not wear handkerchiefs to match their hose, but hose 0 match their handkerchiefs, Gentlemen suffering from cold hands will carry canes made of furze. (See diagram sum- Enterprising tailors show advan mer styles in trousers for gentlemen desir- ing to attend picnics. A detachable re-en- forcement is supplied for the base, thus enabling the wearer to sit in a custard pie accidentally without alarm. The new golfing suits contain locker- pockets, from which may be extracted small siphons, tumblers, and the other essentials for the nineteenth hole. The cubes of ice are carried in the hollowed handle of the club. MEDICAL TALK. Doctor Pill—* Is Mr. Frost a distant or a near relative of yours?” Doctor Mixture—** Well, he 's distant enough to lend me money, and near enough to want it back."’ JUDGE The Passing of the Milkmaid. HE INVENTION of an electrical milk- ing device decrees that the milkmaid must go; likewise all the time-honored hu- mor and cartoons involving the overthrow The Wisdom of Atlas. ee HY DID Atlas support the earth, “I suppose he was afraid that if he dropped it he would wake the baby.’” IS POVERTY A CRIME? “You refuse me because I am a poor artist; but I assure you that poverty is not a crime."* “It amounts to the same thing, for it is pretty sure to sentence the woman to hard labor,"* ya refrac- cease her of the milker, stool, and pail And the latter mus “refractoriness,"’ for if she lift her voice— or, rather, her hoof -in protest, the busi ness end of a live wire will undoubtedly curb her unruliness. The landscape artist will lose 2 picturesque combination in cow, maid, pail, and_ stool. But his depiction of the flashing, sputtering, sparking contrivance in the heart of nature will add to the charm of his canvas. Physicians will de- plore its introduction, for its cleanliness will prevent the dissemina- tion of many germs, upon which they hitherto, paradoxically speaking, have thrived. Possibly the next accomplishment of sci tory cow, disease ence—with a timely eye to the conservation of the cow—will be an elec- trical milking device to tap nature's own great storehouse—the Milky W: The Other Good-for-Nothing. I a little sequestered country town, where the court of jus over the general store, and where the judge is an old, grizzled farmer, thoroughly familiar with pitching hay and milking cows, but having a very limited knowledge of the law, the prisoner had pleaded ‘Not guilty” to a charge of burglary. The lawyer for the prosecution was endeavoring to show the court that the accused was a man of low character. What were you doing the night before the robbery ?"" he questioned severely. “Tl was playin’ pinochle with Jed Parker and another feller,"’ answered the prisoner, evasivel: ** Ah, I thought so,"’ shouted the lawyer, triumphantly, ‘ playing cards, and with that loafer, Jed Parker. Gambling and in bad company. But you mention a third party, sir. Who was the other good-for- nothing ?”” The prisoner hesitated, ** Answer me !"' bellowed the lawyer. ‘* Wa-al, sir, if ye must know," said the accused, ‘* it was the judge here.”” How Names Are Changed. Miss Fright—They say I can have my name changed by the Legislature Miss Sight" prefer changed by a minister.”” to have mine comicbooks.com