Judge — October 1, 1910 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wayssse | Heart-to-heart Chats with Our Chappies. By CAROLYN WELLS D8 JAMESIE—I am glad you wrote me frankly about your difficulty in ac- quiring the art of polite conversation. Many young men are often at a loss to know what to talk about. At the dinner table, topics of conversation should always be of a light and agreeable nature. Vivisection is a good subject. If you read the articles in the current magazines, you can easily amass sufficient knowledge on the subject to talk learnedly about it. Memorize the details as you read them, and tell them with dramatic effect to the young lady who is your companion at dinner. Dwell especially on the sufferings of the animals operated upon, and imi- tate their stifled cries of pain. Another timely subject is that of motor accidents. You can get these from many daily papers, and, learning them by rote, you can recite them glibly with pleasant effect. If you have had appendicitis, or if you have a friend who has, relate the minutest particulars of thecase. Having exhausted all these gay and entertaining topics, you may be obliged to resort to a discussion of the plays presented on the stage at present. But if you do not wander far away from the topics men- tioned. above, your dinner-table conver- sation will soon be- come of the most modern and approved character; but write me again, dear Jame- sie, if you experience any further trouble in the matter. Rarebits. Dear Herbie—I am glad you asked me how to make a Welsh rarebit, for I haven't had that inquiry since last week, There are fourteen hundred and thirty ways of making thisdelicacy, each of which nounced the only way by the man who does it. I would send you by mail the book con- taining these recipes, but only a four-pound volume is allowed in the mail, and, of course, this weighs more; so you will have to come and get it. But a few words of advice may help you in your efforts. When you begin to make a Welsh rarebit, display an air of assurance and absolute confidence in your own method. If any looker-on remarks that he always uses a little corn starch, say that you never use corn starch, and vice ver If any one advises mustard, look scornful and say that mustard would spoil it entirely. If any one advises milk, cut out the milk. If any one suggests an egg, eschew the egg. Of course, if their suggestions are the reverse of these, pur- sue a contradictory course. In any case your finished product will turn out about the same. Write me again, Herbie dear, after you get over the effects of the Welsh rarebit. How To Hold an Umbrella over a Lady. My dear Sylvester—You did wisely to ask my advice about the proper way to hold an umbrella over a lady. In the first place, you should select a lady a little taller than yourself. This gives you an opportunity to make strenuous efforts to hold the umbrella above her hat, and so prove your well-meaning zeal. Of course you cannot hold the um- brellaabove the trim- mings of her hat, but to keep hitting the flowers and feath- ers reminds her that you are still there. Hold the umbrella so that the center of it is just over yourown shoulders; this will allow the drippings from the ribs to fall exactly on her hat. Fall a step or two behind the lady as you walk; this will allow some drops to hit her nose. Of course the end and aim of the whole business is to get the lady as wet as possi- ble, but this can easily be accom- plished by a little care and ingenuity. Write me again, Syl- vester dear, if you want to know any- thing more about courteous attentions to ladies. Owlets. MAN’S worst enemy or his best friend is often himself. When women vote there will be no such thing as the silent vote. The man who wants to cut a wide swath must know how to swing a big ‘‘ EVICTED.” scythe. comicbooks.com