Judge — September 3, 1910 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Weather Prognostications. Heavy frosts may be looked for in States holding September eléctions. Hazy cveather in university tore high-school districts, and in the Cinity of military academies, Fall~ ing financial ‘barometers, due to heavy drafts in all sections of the country, with considerable wet un~ der fost in the river-beds of the middle- West, NOW the woodchuck gayly chucks, And the hucklekerry hucks, On the lea. And the sardine and the whale Go in hiding from the gale On the sea. Now the lovely summer girl With her pompadour and curl Cooleth dow And her disappointe Jilted, wilted, takes Back to town. Now the summer bills come in And the broad paternal grin Fades away, For another season at The café. Notes on the Above Dates. WE ARE glad toinform our consumers that the prophesied fail- ure of the September day-crop has proven false, and we are therefore able to give full measure as we promised to do at the There may be a few blow-holes in some of the above, but on the whole they are as fine a selection of Septem- ber days as has ever come out of our shop. Owing to the weather conditions in September we cannot guar- antee the sunny qualities of these dates, but all subscribers sending beginning of the year. us a certified check for fifteen dollars before the first will be provided with a fine imported mackintosh worth not less than four dollars, which used in connec- tion with our calendar will insure im- munity from rain. Clerks and others desiring an extra holiday during September are hereby notified that September third is the an- niversary of the death of Oliver Crom- well, a representation of which fact to their employers may enable them to get a full Saturday off instead of a half. Almost any of the above dates will be found useful for those who desire to pay their last Christmas bills, though those who have no money in the bank are warned not to draw checks against their account on the thirteenth. Owing to the enormous success of our this year’s August dates we have in- cluded in the above a large number made after the same pattern, though we beg to assure our consumers that they are none of them left-overs, but are all strictly fresh. Should any of the above dates prove dry and dusty they can be restored to freshness by a persistent sprinkling with a garden hose. We regret that we could not give more dates this month. Judge’s Almanac September Ye Poemme of Ye Month. Now the bloom is off the beach, And the bleachers do not bleach As they did; ‘And our colleges and schools Varnish up the empty stools For the kid. September 1910 Sun Mon TueWed Thu Pri Sat t 2:22 123 4567 8 910 Af 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 : YE DATI the bottles, Maxims of the Month. You cannot make a long purse out of a pay envelope. Social registers avarm ferw houses. Now the teacher, quaint and odd, Tests the ruler and the rod, Just for fun; And the schoolboy leaves the crick, For his dear arithmetic Is begun. Little freshmen, blithe and green, Now appear upon the scene, Full of cheer; While the soph’mores, cold and stiff, Give them one and all a biff On the ear. Now we hear the hunter's horn, And we munch the ripened corn On the cob, For September and her pack Of rich blessings all are back On the job! Sugestions For The Month. PaTHERS of families who have spent the summer in town can se- cure the services of an old-bottle man to clean up the house or the apartment prior to the family’s return, for the market value of Now is the best time for the heads of educational plants to gather in their harvest of hickory rods and other switches for use “KIND WORDS NEVER DIE.” Stlla—'* Miss Passe will catch cold if she does not go into the house before long.’? Bella—"* She ought to catch something this season. been trying bard enough." She's in instructing the young in applied forestry. Hotel and boarding-house keepers in the country districts will do well about now to keep a careful eye upon all trunks and other luggage brought by unknown guests into their houses, carefully removing all bricks and gravel therefrom; and all windows within jumping distance from the ground should be barred. The season has been rife with cut-worms and flying moths and serious loss may be the penalty of a failure to observe this suggestion. Summer engagements to last through until October must be carefully nursed about this time. Frequent applications of marshmallow and a steady diet of chocolate creams, taken internally, are recommended to restore a fainting en- gagement to its pristine vigor. Now that the very warm days of sum- mer are over landladies may, with en- tire safety, increase the number of ber- ries in the shortcake from three to eight without necessarily affecting the health of consumers. For the first few days of school, children should be carefully dressed. It is recommended that the little boys, especially, should be supplied with re- enforced trousers to prevent them from injuries superinduced by the cold snap which may lower the school temperature at any moment. comicbooks.com