Judge, 1910-09-03 · page 10 of 16
Judge — September 3, 1910 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine **Judge** contains multiple short humorous pieces and cartoons typical of early 20th-century American humor. **Key Content:** The main cartoons mock social pretensions and practical absurdities. "Rubbish" depicts a woman discarding a child in a barrel—commentary on wasteful fashion or parenting. "A Biased Opinion" shows prisoners behind bars opposing "third terms" (prison sentences). **Social Satire Topics:** - **Education**: A father's son returns from college with only "a pair of suspenders" after fighting with professors—mocking both academic conflicts and meager learning outcomes - **Fashion**: Critiques American vs. English tailors, and absurdly blames the disappearance of last year's bird nests on feathered hats - **Fame**: "Heights of Fame" notes that achieving success brings constant struggle to maintain it - **Motorists**: Complaints that early automobile drivers are discourteous, leaving "politeness to the thank-you-marms" (likely referring to politeness only to women) The pieces reflect period concerns: education quality, fashion excess, and emerging automobile culture's social impact.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
His Portion. é\y Vee Smythe,"’ said Bjones, Viv “I suppose your son has re- turned from college clad in all the glorious raiment of wis- dom."* “Not quite, Bjones, not quite,” said Smythe. * Billy got in some kind of a row with two of his professors up there, and all he had coming to him was a pair of suspenders." On the Heights. fy JOMN KENDRICK BANGS HE Heights of Fame are very fair, ‘And lure men on from everywhere; But, once attained, . No rest is gained— “Tis constant effort staying there. LITERARY item from Kansas says that one cyclone cellar is worth all the six best sellers in the market. We do not wish to embarrass a good man, but what has the Hon. Will Allen White, the Dickens of Emporia, got to say about this? JUDGE Tact. “AND DO you really think I am beauti- ful, Jack?"’ she murmured, she nestled up close to his pink waistcoat. “* Well—um—ha—Maria, ‘id he, ‘* yes. That is, you ave beautiful to me, and who cares what other people think, so long as we are satisfied?” Whereupon, with a woman's perversity, she wept so hard that the color on his waist- coat ran away as fast as it knew how. HE CHIEF difference between an Ameri- can and an English tailor seems to be that the American tailor gives you a fit when he sends your clothes, whereas, with the English tailor, you don’t get the fit until you get the bill. aii ait it (ny A BIASED OPINION “* Lam decidedly opposed to a third term."* WELL QUALIFIED. Lady of the howse—"" One thing I particularly require is a good memory."” Coot—" No trouble about that, ma'am. the past month."* N OBSERVER of fashions has reached the conclusion in the study of ornithol- ogy that the reason why there are no birds in last year's nests is that there are so many of them on this year’s hats. SEEING NEW YORK—ON THE EAST SIDE. I can remember almost every place I 've worked during Cacoethes. N ITCH for office, all the same, Will sometimes land a niche of fame, Especially when those who catch It at the flood come to the scratch. Keep the Watchword Running. &« LET COURTESY and patience be your watchword,” says Professor Loeb, in his lectures before the Custom house Uni- versity of Manners. And don’t let your watch run down, might be added to advan- tage. Her Seashore Colors. TEN LITTLE rosy fingers, Ten little pinkish toes, Two little crimson liplets, One little red, red nose! The Scapegoat. THEY blame the comet for such things That one who thinks can’t help but note A feeling in one’s wonderings, "Twas not a comet, but a goat. WISE philosopher who does a good deal of walking over the public highways has reached the conclusion that a large ma- jority of the motorists of the hour leave all their politeness to the thank-you-marms.