Judge — August 6, 1910 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

~ ‘THE CALL OF THE WILD." His Curiosity Gratified. STTTRHE ENTRANCE to the shanty barroom in {'} the little mining town was not particularly inviting, but it was the only one near the big coal breakers and the stranger was thirsty and tired, so he entered. Calling for whiskey, the bartender placed a greasy bottle on the bar and the stranger helped himself, He was a world traveler and had sampled the fire water of forty States and a dozen countries, but, without exception, this was the weakest whiskey that had ever crossed his lips. The bartender looked too formidable tooffer any unpleasant criticism, but, noticing the litho- graph of a horse on the bottle, he thought he'd venture a question. “Er—I see, my friend, you have a horse on your bottle of whis- key.” The bartender looked up from his pink weekly. “Yep,” he said non- chalantly. “ And is there any spe- cial reason why the horse is there?” “Sure! It’s because I call that ‘horse whis- key!" “But why do you call it ‘horse whiskey’? No resemblance to a horse, is there?”’ “Some. I water it twice a day. Anything else you want to know?"’ But there wasn’t. The stranger just picked up his grips and left with- out sampling any more “hors Maxims. PROVINCIAL AG and his money & are soon spotted. There's many a slip "twixt customer and tip. Most all is paste that glitters in the opera box. Sport (jollying him along) —" 1 know. (Wi) iN El i BIRDLIKE, Tenor—'* When I sing —ob, ze rapture !—I feel like a bird on ze wing Telltale Evidence. OF the passengers were amused at the dove-like tenderness A of the honeymoon couple from the rural districts, and when the train emerged from the tunnel the flashily dressed com- mercial salesman thought he would have some fun at their expense. “See here, neighbor,"’ he said, in a loud whisper, as he touched the nervous bridegroom on the arm, ‘don’t you know there are rulea against kissing on this road?” “ Rules against kissing?” faltered the frightened countryman. “Certainly! You were kissing while coming through the tunnel !"" “* H-how in the world did you find that out, mister?”’ “Why, by the soot marks, There was one on your nose before we entered the tunnel, and now there is one of the same size on the bride’s nose."” And just then the pretty bride began to stamp her foot impetu- ously and upbraid her si MOAT NTT i awkward spouse. “Thar, now, Silas, Il what did I tell you? Told 1 you not to come on the H soft-coal route. If; we | had come on any other route, they wouldn't have Z ketched us!"’ The Best Plan. wae you feel you're going to tumble And your head is ina whirl, Don't hang on to the hammock, But hang on to the girl. Calming Her Fears. Housewife—'* Suppose, when you're blasting, a big rock comes right in through our window.” Contractor — ‘* That'll be all right, lady. I'll send one of my men to T often fee! the same way myself.” fetch it out again. comicbooks.com