Judge — July 30, 1910 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

of myself, which -is the photographer’s fault, not mine. Ihave some photographs which I had taken not long ago, but they don’t resemble me much more than a searecrow does. Were you to see one of these photo- graphs in your hand and compare it with me standing up before you, if you had a irk of manhood left you would lose your temper and tell me I had a good case for libel against the photographer. These photographs I refer to ere taken on a cloudy day, and as a result I look like old Rain-in-the-Face, I look like some of those patent-medi- cine-advertisement pictures you see in the newspapers of aman ‘before taking’’ or ‘‘after taking too much.’” Frankly I would not care to have one of these photographs reproduced in your valuable magazine, because I feel it would do me more harm than good. Permit me to congratulate you on your three-hundred- thousand circulation, which is easy to write and looks well “SHOO FLY!" in print. You are perhaps not aware that I also am the editor of a publication known as the Bingeville Bugle, The Bingeville Bugle cannot boast of as great a circula- I am glad that the circulation of the itis. Just at pi en bor subscribers, with two more during the current year, unless they should die or move away from this neighbor- hood. When I get a clew to.a Bugle subscriber I never give up until the subscriber does. With reference to the payment of this article, I wish you would kindly count the number of words and figure what is coming to me at the rate of one cent per word, as per your letter. After you o done please devote }\ eames the entire amount to the p\ee founding of a hospital for \ "4 the care of the aged, indi- |}\ gent, and incurable jokes. “Plain Deals.” By W. R. ROSE. (Cleveland Main Dealer.) CHANGING SIDES. HEN summer heat can’t be defied And scorching zephyrs raid, ‘The man who loves life's sun- ny side Will now prefer the shade. WHY? ‘An esteemed exchange be- gins an editorial on the Reno ity as follows: “‘After all is said and done’’?—— ‘Then why say more? ONE REGRET. The survivor of Thermop- ylw was describing the im- mortal defense. * Tavares ANY SUNDAY MORNING, 1910. “* What are we going to do about it?"” “There was only one thing that annoyed us,’ he said, “And what was that?” inquired the star reporter of the Daily Peloponnesian, “The pass was go narrow,”? replied the hero, ‘that the moving - picture’ machine couldn't be operated to ad- vantage.’” UNLUCKY FERGUSON. “We are going to have a heavy shower before night.”” “What makes you think 80?” “It invariably rains after my neighbors sprinkle their lawns. Last week my neigh- bor, Ferguson, spent an hour wetting down his grass. He burst the hose in three places, accidentally soaked a summer girl who was sitting on the Kimball porch, and wrecked his new straw hat. Twenty minutes after he had fallen down the outside cellar stairs with the hose reel, a storm came up and a heavy rain fell for half an hour.’” “The Innocent Bystander.” By WILBUR D. NesBIT. (cheats Eoening Put.) OMMON sense doesn’t need much gram- mar to make it plain. There are about as many women unhappily unmarried as there are unhappily married. THE MAGAZINE COVER MAN. It used to be the magazines had covers showing pleasant scenes as backgrounds for bewitching girls with rosy cheeks and golden curls, From January through the year these comely damsels would appear in pictured form upon the page, our rapt attention to engage. The summer girl, the winter girl, the laughing lass with teeth like pearl, the golfing miss, the coaching maid, the tennis belle were thus displayed. But now, alas! a change has come and leaves us full of gloom, and glum; the covers of the magazines now bear no more the girly scene: sublime, to tempt