Judge — June 11, 1910 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE TOUGH TEDDY, THE TERROR OF THE JUNGLE. (Delayed ia Dispates.) IGHT NOW I am alone in the midst of the jun- gle, with a thousand gun bearers, twelve pho- tographers, five secretaries, two phonogra- i phers, two wireless operators, four press of aye agents, Kermit, and One volume Keats, Army Springfield, 20 caliber, 10 B. Holland rifle, 430, The Niebelungenlied, One Maxim, One volume Own Maxims, Fifty tons powder and shell. It cannot be said that the representative of Scribbler'’s Magazine ia ill prepared. To-day I laid low my first lion, With my first shot I blew off his whiskers. The next took off the point of his tail, and with my fifteenth shot I had somewhat damaged his skin for exhibition purposes, but he was sufficiently dead. Unsert cut of lion, Myself standing by head. Kermit cutting nails in background.) I took my Theodorolite and found my gun Fired. My first bullet entered at tail and T had just time to read fifty pages of He died. From head to Another lion. pointing due north. passed through to nose. the Niebelungenlied when he sprang. tail, fifty feet. (Unsert cut, Myself sitting on lion, Kermit photo- graphing group.) I have just remembered that this is a scientific expedition to collect birds, mammals, and plants. A couple of cocoanuts leave to-night by special bearer for the coast. Rhinoceros. Both lungs. I love the swift zip-zip of the full-blooded Maxim. The shower makes a terrific rending. Small piece of skin, all that was left, leaves for coast to-night. (Unsert cut. Piece of hide. Myself wiping hands on it.) The choice of a rifle is as much a matter of personal idio- syncrasy as the choice of children, The more the better. ROOSEVELT INFLUENCE. Stork. Shot accidentally. Delivered lecture to gun bear- ers on preservation of stork. Three phonograph records, Self lecturing. Gun bearers in pools of tears.) To-night gave campfire lec- (Unsert cut. Read little book on forestry. ture. Kermit presiding. Hartebeeste. One shot. Four legs blown toshreds. Ran four miles. Very painful. Still, in interests Washington Museum, must bust up the fauna, (Insert cut, Self foreground. Hartebeeste somewhere. Kermit brushing teeth to left.) NO CHANCE FOR FRAUD. Jones (to friend who is showing his collection of “‘ old masters") — “* How do you know they are originals ?"” Friend—"" Oh, I was too smart to play into the hands of a dealer. 1 bought 'em myself right on the Press agents growing restive. Got lost in long grass for five hours. Had comfortable snooze after killing one jigjag, one tamtam, one cancan, On being found, surprised to find camp concerned, Gave press agents message of reassurance to world. No mushy sentimentality, though. Recited several passages from “ Political Outlooks.”” Bully idea to get lectures in order! What shal! I say? How will this do? Egypt: British rule. Length of Cleopatra’s nose. Italy: Caruso. Black hand. Germany: British army. Dr. Bode. France: Race suicide. German armament. England: Tariff question. The Kaiser. A‘ Oxford speak of grand old ‘varsity of Cambridge. Denmark: Dr. Cook. Kermit tramped on a boa. Put it in waist- coat pocket. Consignment of skins leaves for coast. Also five million words for Scribbler's, Wireless for Washington. Answered: ‘ Don’t bother me. A derby is good enough for me.” Just written reception committee to receive a3 citizen, Will ride on elephant. Kermit on camel. No laurels from Brooklyn. Off to Cairo. Just wiped out last wild animal in Africa, Wonder if I shall get vote of thanks ? AT THE CONCERT OF POWERS. (A little ditty to accompany the Roosevelt moving-picture films.) By ROSCOE GILMORE STOTT. HAs ANYBODY here seen Teddy? T—e—double d—y! nybody here seen Teddy Riding by? Since his long, hard trip he has grown real brown, But everywhere he goes he owns the town, Has anybody here seen Teddy? Socialism. Why, we 've got the money and the ambition to lick ‘em all."* Yes, Teddy’s been around this way! Easy Edward—" War nothin’ ! comicbooks.com