Judge, 1910-05-28 · page 14 of 16
Judge — May 28, 1910 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine is primarily **advertising**, with some humorous content filling the margins. The advertisements promote products like High Life beer, I.W. Harper whiskey, and various patent medicines—typical early 1900s consumer goods often containing dubious claims. The scattered jokes and short verses address everyday ironies: Halley's Comet (briefly visible in 1910) supposedly being "cheap," a woman's dentures falling out, missing teeth, tedious cigar quality complaints. There's a brief reference to "Teddy," likely Theodore Roosevelt, celebrated as a "news man." The page reflects the era's advertising satire mixed with vaudeville-style humor—puns, mild absurdism, and recurring jokes about substitution and quality. The *Northern Pacific Railway* advertisement for "Through Wonderland" (Yellowstone Park) represents 1910s travel marketing. For modern readers: this captures pre-WWI consumer culture, when patent medicines were unregulated and advertising humor was built on cynicism about product quality and everyday disappointments.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CHEAP THINGS. The only thing not costly now, And quite a distance from it, The only thing not high in price Is Brother Halley's comet. — Boston Herald, There is another cheap thing—yes— It grieves us much to tell i 'Tis anything that we possess, When we are forced to sell it. —Chieago Record-Herald. This talk about the comet Being so very, very cheap Is buncombe. Don't believe it— The cost ia ten cents a peek. —Detroit News, ‘There's nothing quite so cheap about This Halley comet matter— Admitting that its tail is punk— ~ As poets’ idle chatter. TEDDY. Has anybody here seen Teddy? TE double D Y. Has anybody here seen Teddy? Have you seen him smile? Sure, his copy’s hot, his taste is true; He's a news man through and through. Has anybody here seen Teddy, Teddy of the matchless style? A PARADOX. Dan Cupid is a marksman poor, Despite his love and kisses; —Cornell Widow. NOT LAWN TENNIS. “Horrors! I've lost another set!"’ quoth Mabel, as she swallowed her teeth. —University of California Pelican, IN THE DRUGSTORE. ever loved ?"" “Have you any five-cent cigars?”” “No; but we have something just as good. ‘Here's a ten-cent cigar."’—Red Hen, “No, Record. dear; “Theough Wonderland" Send six cents in stamps for the most beautiful book on YELLOWSTONE PARK ever published Sixty-four pages; sixteen full page four-color plates from new photographs; a score of other views in soft one- color half tone. A triumph of the book-makers’ art---as interesting as it is beautiful. Those who numbered the Northern Pacific's ‘‘WON- DERLAND” book among their library friends, when formerly published, will wel- come this reissuance of the work in new dress, with new text and illustrations---larger and more beautiful than ever before, “Through Wonderland” describes and pictures the greatest of our national parks, reached directly via Northern Pacific Railway =the ONLY LINE TO GARDI- NER GATEWAY-.--official en- trance. 1910 Season: June 15 to Sept. 15 Visit it THIS summer. Through sleeping cars direct to 2 the boundary, daily during season. we Y ox IN CHANTECLERLAND. Miss Plymouth Rock—" know that I am only the forty-second gitl you London Sketch. “*Are cannibals vegetarians?"’ humanitarians."’ o> HIGH LiF BEER . MILLER MILWAUKEE'S LEADING BOTTLED BREWED BY KENTUCKY WHISKEY CELEBRATED FOR ITS PURITY. SOUGHT AFTER FOR ITS PERFECT FLAVOR. TRUSTED FOR ITS UNCHANGING FINE QUALITY. BERNHEIM DISTILLING CO. LOUISVILLE Lthe Best Bitter Liqueur] Ur yderberg ‘foe World's Best Bitters ) SOLITARY SMOKERS. “T enjoy a quiet smoke," said a man to a fellow-passenger of a liner. ““Well,”’ said the stranger, moving across the deck, “‘you will never be troubled with crowds while you smoke cigars of that brand."’—American Col- lege. But how am I to The quickest, most " wholesomeandbene- '—Yale ues it for in k for name © UNDERBERG Sold Everypehere, LUYTIES BROTHERS, U.S. Agents, New York. SUBSTITUTION. “Haven't you any purpose in life? asked the minister of the melancholy sighed the druggist; ‘but I've something just as good!""—Red Hen. NOVELTY. y, here's an original LADIES CAN WEAR SHOES ” one size smaller after using Allen's Foot-Ease, the antiseptic powder to be shaken into the shoes. It makes tight or new shoes feel e: ives instant relief to corna and bunions. Thi Sprinkle Allen’s Fe other and notice the difference. sommfort discovery of the axe. Sokl every where. 2 1 Don't accept any substitute P trial pact Ages addrese Allen S: Olmsted, Le Roy, Ne ¥ Knocker—"'S baseball stor: Second sen’ Knocker- | inning, instead of ninth. r—‘* How's that?"’ Hero wins game in eighth —Yale Record. Its the great Mothers will find Mrs, Winslow’s Soothing Syrup = | best remedy for their children. 25 a bottle, Fo QUITE TRUE. Chester—See the ladybug on the dresser!"’ Archie—‘That’s not a ladybug. Ladybugs never go into young gentle men’s room Chester—"* But thi University of Mi rR MEN OF BRAINS Oda “MADE AT KEY WEST} s a landladybug. igan Gargoyle. ROMEIKE’S £52 <stes appear about you, your {rich which you may want to be NO DOUBT. “Professor Smart is a man of large mental caliver, is he not?”’ “He certainly is a big bore.""—Uni- [versity of Minnesota Minnehaha. rehed. Terms, £5.00 10) ‘notices. Henny Romeints 110-112 West 20 Street. New York. VARICOSE ea pare cr of onl cocktail should call for 1y cured | Every to Makes the Ey Abbott's Bitters Thi vainly tried round steak, cut of all.” After this, of course, it was only a question of time before they assassi- nated him.—Stanford University Chap- , \arral. said Cesar mournfully, as he Young. FDP? to masticate his Texas ‘tis the most unkindest GET MARRIED —*etrimoniat paper wine ments of marriage able people from all sections, rich, puor, ol, Yous et Free Protestants, Catholic: mailed, sealed, BF "Toled ry First cadet—'‘Gee! you got a shape like a mateh."” Second cadet—Well, a match hi head; that’s more than you've got. & | Windmill. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com