Judge — April 16, 1910 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WHaT A DIFFERENCE NOW. by ROY kK. MOLL TOS: «6 A RE YOU going to visit those rural relatives of yours this ‘T IS all right for a violin student to play a summer?”? we ask of our friend who so often has Beethoven sonata in A flat, providin’ the flat amused us with his accounts of vacations on the farm. “Twill if they invite me," he answers; ‘* but they're so blamed rich and exclusive now, they make me weary."” REFLECTIONS OF UNCLE EZRA is clear across town from yours. No feller that starts his business career by tradin’ jack knives at school ever dies ~se THE OLD CHANTECLER. @ ( in the poorhouse. . It looks like that war in Niggerau- Ethelyn—" Oh, grandmamma, Jack and 1 were to see the 4) ger, Central Ameriky, has swore off new play last night! All the players were dressed to represent and gone back to work. barnyard fowls."" So long as the government garden Grandmamma—" Why, that’s nothing! The summer be- fore I was married I had a duck suit, a leghorn hat trimmed seeds hold out, a good many of the con- smen will be remembered by the With canary ribbon, and every one said your grandfather was the biggest quack in town.”” dents of their districts. It seems as though, to be perfectly true to life, as representative of a great ly disappearin’ race, that he- in in New York harbor ought to hold a bunch of cigars in his right hand. ed up in THEATRICAL cess gown that butto the back, or his biography might read a little different. AGENCY I never see a feller that wore earmuffs who didn’t have a blue nose and a pessimistic view of life I So long as nobody suggests givin’ Teddy Roosevelt a house ] and lot upon his return home, his chances for bein’ President 2 again may not be so very dark. Miss Anastasia Tibbitts, of our village, has gone to New York to learn the gentle art of conversation, She expects to a take most of her lessons in a box at the grand opry. It is said they are goin’ to abolish one of the bureaus in Washington, and it is almost a cinch that they will tind a sood a supply of collar buttons under it. Elmer Purdy has bought a genuine imitation diamond shirt stud and expects to accept a lucrative position as clerk in se some New York huttel as soon as one is offered him. THE TAD WATER on FROM A GALLERY CRITIC. bu by TEDOR JENKS SEEN a play called ‘* Hamlet,"’ Chock full 0’ gore an’ woe. Why, ev'ry geezer in it Was some one’s deadly foe! A king done Hamlet's fathe: Bologny went off next, Because he sneaked on Hamlet, An’ that cracked cove was vexed. A slimpsy gal, Opheli « From Hamlet got the shake; tre She stuffed her hair with vegetables, ; ‘An’ jumped into the lake. C Then Hamlet poked Laertes; doe His mother took doped drink, F While Hamlet pinked his royal nibs Pur An’ put him on the blink. I heard some highbrows kickin’: “Say, that was awful bad— To let that sardine murder The ghost of Hamlet's dad!’” For me—I think ‘twas bully— Was sorry that they stopped. But this gets me—why didn’t The whole layout git copped? EWARE of powder when you court a “TIT AND TAT.” He—"' Would you please, madam, have the kindness to remove your hat? I have paid three dol- beauty. lars for my seat in order to see. ——— She—"* And I have paid forty dollars for my hat in order to have it seen."* Tuere 's eloquence in honest laughter. comicbooks.com