Judge — April 2, 1910 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MAXIM. It is better to be a small ga- loshe on a dainty foot than the biggest rubber boot in a mud puddle, wa perensin OUND the timbrel, beat the drum! April breezes ‘gin to hum, Sounding clearly all the way From old Maine to Mandelay. In her train her hosts of rain Patter on the window pane, And above the brown and sere Little gobs of grass appear, That upon some future day Sure will ripen into hay. Modest trees now clothe their limbs In the garments of their whims— Clothes like Adam’s and sweet Eve's, Mostly made of fresh green leaves; While the wise man clothes his roof In a coat that's waterproof. In the midst of sunny hours Come the early April showers, NOTES ON THE ABOVE The makers of this calendar will not be responsible for the moral character of April Ist, and we he to be careful in trusting too implicitly April 23d is Shakespeare's birthday, but the great poet having neglected to copyright it, consumers are at perfect lib- erty to use it without fear of conseque JUDGE'S ALMANAC YE POEMME OF YE MONTH. Soaking sinner, soaking saint, Irrespective of their plaint— Soaking saint the more, perhaps, Since some sinner's stole his wraps. Hpril 1910 Sun Mon TueWed Thu Pri Sat tse: £2 3456789 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 YE DATES OF YE MONTH. DATES. reby warn our consumers to any of its promises. nces, as long as fences. MAXIM. A galoshe on the foot is sworth four pairs of rubbers in the mud. Little birds begin to flit And to sound their morning twit, Striding up and down their bea In their quest for worms to eat While the worm, the least bit wise, Down below the frost-line lies, Lest the robin’s unpaid bill Makes his outlook bleak and chill. Landlords scatter o’er the land Promises with lavish hand, While the red-faced janitor Muchly softens up his roar, Lest he scare the timid tip He expects us now to slip. 'Tis, indeed, a lovely time, When the world is all in chime, When fair April without check Gives it to us in the neck. USEFUL HINTS FOR APRIL. Dead cats are excellent fertilizers for grapevines. is no better time than April for catching these on their native This may be done easily by throwing a ham- mock over them while they sing. The first of April is the only day of the year in which a farmer may conscientiously sell a four-dollar There horse to his grandmother or the minister for $107. On any other day of the year such an act would savor of sharp practice. Wearers of ear-tabs will do well to remem- ber that their use as an article of apparel after they use it according to the laws of the community in which they dwell. We are sorry to have to deny the thousands of re- quests received by our com- pany to provide thirty-one days in this month. All ex- periments in this direction have had most unsatisfactory results, and we have conse- quently decided to adhere to the twenty-first of April anywhere below the Canada line savors of os- stentation, and that they should therefore be avoided. A cheap and good umbrella can be secured by attending church regularly during April and leaving before the sermon, taking the original plan of the calendar. care, however, to take with If any of the above dates you from the supply of um- chance to become water- brellas left in the church lob- THE FREAK OF THE FLOCK. “ Honest—er—are you a joke, or did you hatch out of an Easter egg ?”" by one that is not over a year old. To keep your cows from sinking too deeply into frost holes, place them on stilts not less than eight feet in height before turning them out into the.pasture. If these are not handy, snowshoes will serve much the same purpose, the only ob- jection to the latter being that few cows are expert in walking with snow- shoes on, soaked in transit, we cannot be held responsible for the fact. They’ were all dry when leaving our shop, and more than this we cannot guarantee. Should any of them appear to be mildewed or rain-soaked when unpacked, place them in a warm, sunny spot for a while, and do not use until dry. Any purchaser of this calendar finding days omitted will please com- municate directly with the publishers immediately upon discovery of the omission. No mistakes will be rec- tified after the fifteenth. Rooster WEATHER FORECAST. It is difficult to tell whether or not in April. The forecasts for the month sent out from Wash- ington indicate some rain, followed by dry spasms, alternating with spells of neither, between the first and eighteenth, and later between the eight- eenth and thirtieth. Flurries of white, cotton-like flakes in regions south of Heligoland indicate snow in the air and the possibility of frost in northern latitudes before December. If it rains heavily before the tenth there will be wet weather in the early part of the month, but otherwise a continu- ance of the usual unsettled conditions. OOK WoRMS ought to be good worms to hook fish with. comicbooks.com