Judge — April 2, 1910 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BOx SEATS #300 ORCHESTRA Zoo Bresscmece Tso DRIVING A BARGAIN Squire Cropucy—"' I see yew ask three dollars fer a box veat ?"* Coyne (the box-office man) —"' Yes, sir, we do."* Squire Cropuey—" Wa-al, yew see I brung a box along with me fer t” set on, Noaw, how much will yew charge me jist fer t’ git in?” HIGH COST OF LIVING AXIOMS. «HE price of phonographs is going up."” Even talk isn’t cheap any more. A butcher nowadays has a great deal at steak. “Time is money." Nowadays when you go out shopping you have to take lots of time. Now that they have raised meats I suppose the farmers will also raise vegetables this summer. Even airships are going up. JUDGE COURT DECISIONS. IF IT be true, as is reported, that men are to wear knee breeches for evening dress this coming season, Jupce is afraid some will have to throw themselves upon the mercy of that charity that covereth a multitude of shins. In thinking over the woman’s rights question, it has occurred to Jupce to lay down the following safe lines for action: Man’s been her slave since nature In wisdom vast produced her. Why should she not, then, rule the roost Who's ever ruled the rooster? The question of what is the valu» of a woman’s heart having come up again, JupGE notes the somewhat singular c cumstance that the cash value of a broken one is very much larger than that of one in first-class working condi- tion. At least, that is what the breach- of-promise verdicts seem to imply. The report that the Public Service Commission is going to compel theat- rical managers to put in straps for the benefit of those who cannot get seats cannot be traced to any reputable source, Jupce has no wish to be considered cynical, but how many men theve are who give their fiancées a solitaire as a sort of hint as to the game they will have to play after they are married! The last word in the polar controversy appears to be that Peary discovered it and Disappeary didn’t. Yes, George, you are perfectly justi- fied in putting a deep band on your hat because of the death of your rich uncle, who has left you all his money, before the Tat JUDGE'S CONTEST. So many contemporaries are running prize contests that JUNGe is going to follow suit and offers readers the following. WHAT TUNE 1S HE PLAYING? JUDGE offers three prizes for the best answers: First prize, a prosperity doughnut (age unknown. probably made some time fa Second prize. a copper bas relief of a noble Indian, bearing date of 1851. Not many of thes lot machines on Fourteeath Street. New York. Third pr ble prize of all. because it is $0 u JDGE make the third the entitled to first prize but eo hard to admit your answer deserves but third. it's $0 easy to feel you are NOW AND LATER. 1. Picture of a modern New York ‘‘cop’* making a demonstration just prior to the arrest of a peaceable citizen after band at all, reach Mr. that very have itself ence. HE 2. A picture of a New York “cop”? of the near future responding to a of your inner emotions, but it would hardly be good form. It turns out now that those canals on Mars are not canals ways, and the Martians have civilization where such things are built on the level. brilliant English essayist, says that they are so subtle that in nine cases out of ten the mob riot call. yearsof neglect. A brass might be more descriptive . Possibly they are sub- ed that advanced stage in G. K. Chesterton, the the ideas of the mob are subtle ideas. He might gone further and stated is unaware of their exist- WHO gets the doughnut is very apt to be an opti he who gets the hole, a