Judge — January 15, 1910 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

itil Oe, sinc HURTFUL. “Tannin is what hurts in coffee, and it is what hurts in school, too."* THE CYNIC’S EXAMINATION PAPERS FOR EVERYBODY. THE AERONAUT. | 8. What do you suppose is the atti- By RW. SNEDDON. tude of the bird and the fly toward the WHAT is the insurance society | progress of artificial flight? Do they + which promises the biggest settle- imagine that their supremacy is being and Only with its mareransen DIDN'T LIKE THE HOTEL. A young college man, city bred and raised, / swered the call for har- vest hands in Kansas. Abollinaris “THE QUEEN OF TABLE WATERS.” Bottled only at the Spring, Neuenahr, Germany, ment to your widow? 2. Give any reason for the fact that you are apt to hold yourself a trifle higher than the motorist. Is it because you are a flight above the common? challenged? Do you think that any nc-| tion will be taken to discourage man’s flights of fancy? Will they combine ‘forces with the horse to prevent total extinction? Reaching a farmhouse late at night, | he was promised work and assigned to| a room. It seemed to him that he had hardly fallen asleep when he was asked toget up. Disgustedly the young man dressed himself in the darkness, and, 3. Give the chief events in the rise| 9. What would you suggest as a mod-! picking up his grip, walked down-| stairs. and fall of the late lamented Darius ernization of the phrase, ‘‘ How Time Green, and state what influence his ac- flies’? Describe in detail the primitive complishment has had in keeping his method employed by him. Have you name green. Point out any primary de- ever seen a‘ winged hour’? If so, de- fects in the apparatus he used. termine the utmost rate of speed at- 4. Who was Icarus? Why did he put tainable. too much wax on his mustache and too 10. How do you account for the fact little on his wings? Why did his father that the weeklies have not yet instructed wax sorrowful over the son?’ What is you how to build a flying machine out | your opinion of his invention, and dem- | of two turkey wings, an orange box, and onstrate why too much spirit is a thing a gasoline stove? Should this remiss-| to be avoided. ness be censured by the law? 5. Are the buyers of aeronautic ma-| 11, Since st some period or other you chines spendthrifts, since most of them will essay to find the pole of Mars, how come down in the world? do you propose to substantiate your 6. If the brothers are Wright, why claims? State (for private information are they so unduly modest about their only) your lowest price per word for the success? authentic account of your discovery. 7. Since they have conquered the Will your flight be before or after the whole hat possible reason can they discovery? | have in limiting their scope to a million- 12, What is the difference between an aire trust? Having a biplane, is it to airship and a ship which flies? State | be supposed that they will sell fair? Is the efficacy of a gasbag as an aid to there any reason to doubt that their press publicity. shares will rise rapidly? 13. What arrangements have you made for the prevention of sudden de-| scents upon spires, lightning conductors, ‘and other landmarks? What do you | propose to do in the event of passengers falling out by the way or gossiping ladies who let drop things which show how the wind blows? 14. Will aerial dentistry in the teeth jof the winds become an accomplished | fact? 5. What is an aer 0 0? Does the final o mean “nought” to you? Can it be said he is good for nothing? | 16. Can you touch the pitch of the helicoid blades and be undefiled? Has “ Pi(e)"’ anything to do with your lat- eral stability? (For advanced students only.) 17. Estimate in coin of the realm the | value of the aeroplane to the hard-work- ling artist, verse-maker, and humorist. | PACKER’S TAR SOAP The cleansing, ative nd tonic properties its pure pine-tar, glycerine and sweet vege- table oils have given it an exclusive character, with unvarying results, for over 35 years. THE PACKER MFG. CO., New York In answering advertisements please mention farmer, trying to be helpful, ‘‘you) don’t need to take your valise out to the | field with you.”” tartly. to stay all night.’’—Success. “Say, there, young feller,”’ said the “1 know it,”" replied the young man “I'm going to look for'a place IN 1910. Father's in his airship, Gone to spend the day Looking after loans and bonds In Europe, o'er the way. Mother, who likes comfort And does not care to roam, Is shopping, via wireless, In Paris, at her home. Brother, who in deep seas Has a coral grove, Is going in his submarine ‘Among his crops to rove. Uncle, in the navy, Who's left his ship a span, Is shooting through pneumatic tubes | © To join her in Japan. | Sister, who's a suffragette, Has worked reforms go rare That even the ward meetings They open now with prayer; And when, tired by their labors, She'd body rest and soul, She goes to spend for pleasure A week-end at the Pole. —Detroit Free Press. | Own Natural Gas. OYSTERESQUE. Oh, what care I for cake ‘or pie, or sweetbreads by the ton! And costly roast, or quail on toast, I would forever shun! Ob, what care I for bake or fry, or dishes choice and new, When every day in my café I find an oyster stew? I do not yearn for old Sauterne or Port of '78, Nor any drink with cooling clink that’s strictly up to date: For what care I if I be dry when I can know right well I'll find each day in my café a dozen on the shell? Oh, not for me a fricassee, a broil, or coatly plank; No salad fine, indeed, for mine, or Roquefort rich and rank ! For what care I for chicken pie or game whene’er it comes, When any day I can survey a dozen “‘fried in crumbs’? —Joe Cone in Boston Herald. A POOR MEMORY. A Canadian farmer, noted for his absent-mindedness, went to town one day and transacted his business with the utmost precision. He started on his way home, however, with the firm conviction that he had forgotten some- but what it was he could not re- As he neared home, the convic- tion increased, and three times he stopped his horse and went carefully through his pocketbook in a vain en- deavor to discover what he had forgot- ten. In due course he reached home and was met by his daughter, who looked at him in surprise and exclaimed, ‘‘Why, father, where have you left mother?” —Cosmopolitan Magazine, A sea tale—the mermaid’s finish.— Harvard Lampoon. JUDGE. It will be appreciated. BROMO~_ SELTZER» CURES HEADACHES 104,254,504, & $129 Bottles. comicbooks.com