Judge — January 15, 1910 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

leap first. JUDGE BACHELORS By W. B. KERR. BACHELOR is a man who woman, or doing them both a kindness—he isn’t sure tvhich; but he prefers to remain single and imagine himself wise, rather than marry to find out whether or no he is a fool. There are probably fifty- seven varieties of bachelors, but they all have a well-developed bump of caution. They look before they leap—and then let some one else either cheating himself and some Some bachelors think hunting a wife is like hunting a bear—it is fine sport as long as the quarry keeps on runninj or the pursued turns pursuer, they flee for their lives. They love the chase, but they have no desire to be keeper of a menagerie. Others wouldn’t mind owning a bear if they were certain they could tame her, but they have grave doubts on that point. Still others are fright- ened at the thought of the expense. Some, however, have honestly tried to catch a bear, but the bear saw them first. So don’t put all the blame on the bachelors, for some bears are independent bachelor maids who are of no mind to be led about by a chain. At times the bachelor wonders how it would seem to have a wife to meet but if they catch up him at the door—a nice little woman in one of those soft, what-do-you-call- ‘em gowns, with her hair done up in that fluffy way, you know. Then he thinks of the latest divorce ecandal and his meager bank account, and re- WIND STRAWS OF RING. * They say that Johnson has the advantage—he 's long on wind.” “Then it ought to be a good match, for Jeffries members that marriage is not only a lottery, but a luxury. So he consoles can deliver a stiff blow."” himself with the reflection that he can love a woman all the better for being ignorant of her faults and her make- up—for it is a mistake to suppose that bachelors are women-haters. They are only afraid they will be if they marry. They would rather be unwed and love all the women than to be married and quarreling with one. Some of the more conscientious feel that it is better to remain single and disappoint a few women for a time than to marry and disappoint one woman for life. VALUE OF PUFFS. A ACTRESS will tell you that a puff in the newspapers is worth two in the hair. ‘00 MANY matches are made in the parlor with no thought of the kitchen. THE UNEXPECTED FINISH. In his garden one day, Dr. Black Said to friends, ‘* Fame has held nothing back, For I'm called the profound, The broad-minded, renowned ''—— Here he paused, but a duck added “* Quack !* A NEW OUTDOOR SPORT. More strenuous than football, more uncertain than the ponies—can be played on any city street) Yes; 98654, You'win. Sine was caly 3378. “ Did you catch te pumber of the machine that knocked you over?" Betcha again." THE PUZZLER. ‘OW OFTEN we reckon without our host! No matter what knowledge we hold, It takes more wisdom than man ¢: boast To answer a four-year-old. A PLEASANT EVENING. Miss Mudge, Fudge, Jupce. A WOMAN DOCTOR WAS QUICK TO SEE THAT COFFEE WAS. DOING THE MISCHIEF. A lady tells of a bad case of coffee poisoning and tells it in a way so sim- ple and straightforward that literary skill could not improve it. se] had neural; headaches for 12 years,’? she says, ‘and suffered untold agony. When I first began to have them I weighed 140 pounds, but they brought me down to 110. I went to many doctors, and they gave me only temporary relief. So I suffered on, till one day a woman doctor told me to use Postum. She said I looked like I was coffee poisoned. **So I began to drink Postum and I gained 15 pounds in the first few weeks and continued to gain, but not so fast as at first. My headaches began to leave me after I had used Postum about two weeks—long enough to get the coffee poison out of my system. “Since I began to use Postum I can gladly say that I never know what a neuralgic headache is like any more, and it was nothing but Postum that made me well. Before I used Postum I never went out alone; I would get be- wildered and would not know which way to turn. Now Igo alone and my head is as clear as a bell. My brain and nerves are stronger than they have been for years.’’ Read the little book, ‘‘The Road to Wellville, "in packages. “There's a Reason." | Everread the above letter? Anew one totime. They aregen- human interest. ai itaeaassci RE at agen. 4 j 4 j ican Ss Dae,