Judge, 1909-12-18 · page 4 of 16
Judge — December 18, 1909 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several distinct pieces of early 20th-century American satire: **Top Section ("Profession and Practice")**: Satirizes various professions—stenographers seeking wealthy husbands, doctors profiting from illness, lawyers misinterpreting laws, and artists claiming not to work for money. The humor targets professional hypocrisy and self-interest. **"The New Order"**: Mocks mail-order magazine subscription schemes offering absurd premiums (chin-whiskers, butter molds, poetic names) alongside functional items. This satirizes aggressive marketing tactics of the era. **Bottom Cartoon ("One on the Boss")**: A visual joke where an employee tells his boss a man came demanding money be squeezed out of him—the employee claims he responded "I said I was sorry you were not in," implying the boss is the one who squeezes money from people. The page critiques commercial excess and workplace exploitation.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
PROFESSION AND PRACTICE, HE Stenographer — A wedding with wealth, The Doctor — The fostering of human ailments for pecuniary gain. The Lawyer—The misin- terpretation of laws for those able to pay the freight. The Artist—One who would have you believe he does not work for money. The Hired Girl—Being mistress of the whole estab- lishment. CARRIE DE MAR, THEY ARE. WITH KEITH & PROCTOR CIRCUIT “ HAT are ‘ mournful Your breezy ways have qui numbers,’ pa ?”” Like every roguish gi SE eipaat You win your hearers’ fancy, and ** Automobile mortality Make all their heads to whirl. figures."” THE NEW ORDER. HE Chicago mail-order-journal ad. writer had just finished the new premium offer: “Given free with each yearly subscription to the Barnyard Bazaar one nickel-plated currycomb, one ball of fast red yarn, ‘ Miriam's Sweethearts,’ by the Duchess, a nice accordion, a box of hair dye, a whetstone, a device for removing ecckle burrs from cow's tails, a New Testament, a com- bination apple-parer, safety razor, potato planter, burglar alarm, manicure set and door bell, and a quart of congressional turnip seed.” As he sighed his rel head of the house entered and scanned the document. he objected, “you have failed to take cognizance of the country commission's rural uplif' Whereupon it was necessary to revise the offer to thi “« Pree with each yearly subscription to that chic, subtle, up-to- date, thirty-six-page journal, the Harnyard Bazaar, the following grand combination: One box of Anti-Reuben Chin-whisker Eradi- cator, one set of classic butter moulds, depicting the Greek philoso- phers from Aristotle to Themistocles; ‘1,001 Poetic Names for Plow-horses,”’ one inlaid, hand-painted, lacquerette milking stool, with book-rest attachment; a set of bridge rules, the famous Agri- aro ntyreory ONE ON cola Acid Gold-brick Test, and a passe-partout motto, ‘If Lightning- rod Agents Interfere with Your Business, There Is Always the Bulldog. Ross. YET MUSIC HATH CH 8 she mu: Yes; sh an organ without stops."* man came in a he wanted to squeeze some money out of you !"? What did you tell him I said 1 was sorry you were not in.” STUART fh, STONE,