Judge — December 18, 1909 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FABLE OF THE POLICE DOG AND THE COP. ap) HERE was once a Dog who got an appoint- ment to the Police Force and was assigned to do patrol duty with a good-natured Cop who roamed the bleak moors of Staten Island. The Dog’s name was Ethelbert, but the Cop called him something else lateron. At any rate the two were great friends, the Policeman always looking out for his com- panion and never forgetting to bring him a piece of liverwurst when, on cold nights, he drifted into Casey's for a drink of ice- water. Ethelbert considered himself not only a credit to the Force, but the real intelligence of the two, and was burning with a desire for advancement. The opportunity came one night when the Cop dropp:d into the Bun Parlor to gargle his throat, and left Ethelbert on guard outside as usual. The latter, looking down the road, saw the Sergeant. “ Now,”’ said Ethelbert to himself, ‘ here’s where I get in line for promotion!’* Whereupon he barked loud and excitedly. Inside, the Cop nearly swallowed an olive in his haste to get outside; and the Sergeant, also recognizing the wail of warning, made for its source and arrived just in time to run into the Cop as he emerged from the life-saving station. For his great sagacity Ethelbert received three extra dog biscuits and got his picture in the paper, and the Cop was fined thirty days’ pay. MORAL. Keep your eye on your pal. Nearly all enemies are made-over friends. MAURICE SWITZER, A LEATHERY EXCEPTION. BOUGHT them. When the deed was done, One proverb’s truth I would abus: “ There’s nothing new beneath the sut Oh, yes, there is—a pair of shoes! A TRUE HERO. “The cop dropped into the bun parlor to gargle his throat." LITERARY RECIPES. R HOPEFULNESS, read the emanations from Lincoln, Neb. For clearness and simplicity, read one of Henry James's sen- tences as far as the forty-third semicolon, For imagination, read Buffalo Bill and Colonel Prentiss In- graham; also the narratives of Matt Henson and I-took-a-shoo. For the satisfaction of knowing that the age of miracles has not passed, read ‘‘ How Each of Us Beat T’other,"’ by Dock and Commander. For an evening of light, giddy, frothy, and frolicsome relaxation, pe- ruse Dr. Eliot's ‘Five Feet of Fun, Fable, and Fiction." For a penetrative and exhaustive insight into the mazes of high society, devour Miss Libbey’s beautiful, saffron- bound idyl, ‘‘ Wedded to the Organ- grinder’s Daughter.” HILDREN rush in where adults stand and shiver. SING not in praise of Peary or Cook (Let others their eulogies mete), But of one who for forty years has slept With a wife who has cold feet. | THE FEMININ Young lady (on first visit to Western ranch) use that coil of line on your saddle ? Coxepuncher—* That line, as you call it, lady, we use for catching cat- tle and horses.” Young lady—"* I dare say. Now, may I ask what do you use for bait?” eer Caney et ENDERFOOT. “For what purpose do you WHETHER HES, SHES OR ITS. Mr. Drate— My t but they look alike.” Mrs. Plymouth Rock—"* Yes ; they are twins.” enone, 7 Qa” A NEW WAY TO SAVE. Uncle—* | hope you spend all youre Mike— No, sittee ; | make it two-thirds 0? me wayes."” Uncle—“ Ab, 1 the other n the bank ?’* ings, Mike’ Je never to spend more’n 's good! that’s good! And you put Mike—"* No ; 1 give it to the missus—to keep house on |" comicbooks.com