Judge, 1909-12-18 · page 12 of 16
Judge — December 18, 1909 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertisements and humor pieces** rather than political satire. Key content: **Main Cartoon/Humor**: "Sightseeing with Reservations" depicts rural/unsophisticated travelers (appearing to be from the Midwest) arriving at Grand Central Station in New York. The joke plays on "Uncle Josh" stereotypes—country folk amazed by city life, speaking in dialect. The woman declares she won't see the sights because she's traveling with her husband. The satire mocks rural Americans' perceived lack of worldliness and awkwardness in urban settings. **"An Offer"** is a deadpan humor piece offering a broken airplane for sale, listing absurd "features" like a sponge rack and fish-net—poking fun at early aviation's dangers and poor engineering. Other brief jokes mock doctors, babies' diets, and conscience versus law. The page is dominated by **product advertisements**: Philip Morris cigarettes, Northern Pacific trains, and Cook's champagne—typical of Judge's era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Through Trains DAILY TO t Portland and Puge Sound Points | From Chicago, St. Louis St. Paul and Minneapolis Northern Pacific service comprises five fast daily transcontinental trains, east and west, over the “Scenic Highway through the Land of Fortune"--all electric: and steam-heated. North Coast Limited -- Crack Train of the Northwest -- only exclusively first-class, all-sleeping-car train to the North Pacific Coast. Has Drawingrooms, Compartments and Open Sections; Barber, Bath, Clothes- pressing Service; Dental Lavatories and Electric Berth Lamps in both upper and lower berths. A la carte Dining Cars on all five trains--cuisine famously good. “Service That Sets the Pace” Literature about Trains and Route free upon request from A.M. CLELAND, Gen’! Pass'r Agent ST. PAUL Yetiowsrowe Jone 15-Serreuner 1S The smoke de- luxe of those who really know, Philip Morris Cigarettes LONDON CAMBRIDGE AMBASS DOK 5c. 35e. “The Littl Brown Box" uae. SIGHTSEEING WITH RESERVATIONS. Out of the Grand Central Station the other day came a couple, the sight of whom caused citizens who saw them to admit to themselves that there might be, after all, some basis of truth in the “Uncle Josh" jokes of the allegedly funny papers. The old man grasped his carpet-bag and bulging green um- brella firmly, and looked up and down the street his mouth agape. "York, T guess, Maria, misdoubt if we see them al The old lady's mouth set grimly. “Wall, jas,’’ she replied, and her manner was more than significant, “‘be-, in’ as I'm with you, the pect, that you ain’t goin’ Lippincott's Magazine, CROWDING HIM. When a man says that his conscience requires him to make full restitution, it may be taken as true that the law is about to require the same thing. Charleston News and Courier. AN OFFER. | Having retired from active business, I desire to dispose of my aeroplane. It is a light, airy machine, and capable of great speed, ‘On my last trip it reached the earth, a distance of some five hun- dred feet, in less than two seconds. ‘This machine was made under my per- sonal supervision, and has several unique features not found in other and more common affairs. It has a neat sponge- rack, where a gossamer bathing-suit can be stored in case of emergency. It| | also carries a toothbrush, and has a place | where a fountain pen can be neatly | | packed. | Another admirable innovation, not found elsewhere, is a silk fish-net, hung 80 that in case of anything wrong with the mnechinery, you can craw) under and monkey with the engine with- out personal danger- at you are reason- ably quick on your back. The engine is also covered securely by a water-tight rubber bag, to protect it from the in- roads of the ocean or other bodies of water, With my aeroplane 1 will furnish a NO USE FO! The landlady (summoned look had. Shall I send for a The ledger (who yet a snake-charmer."” MISTAKE IN ORDER. KR DOCTORS. by groans) —“ Oh, doctor ?”? s had a wild night at the club)\—‘ No! —london Sketch, | full set of instructions: How To Mount, “*Ma‘am, here’s a man at the door How To Start Off, and How To Steer. cel for you."” it, Bridget?” ish, ma’am, and it’s marked with ap “What t's c. 0. D. “Then make the man take it strai; back to the dealer, I ordered trout."’— Washington Star, THE BABY'S MENU. red the b Is fort amount of detail, pung mother re some ved a sever ue the drugstore man’s wife with a fine fat b: asked, “And what do you feed the baby “Well, y y y samples of » try them all. Jones thinks he is b But his wife is the | of estimate.""—Grooklyn L ht But th other | hours. Unfortunately, Iam unable to give a | personal demonstration, owing to a pre- pnganem it. The following hints, ‘ay be found to be of intere to the 1 novice. Do not wait until after you have started before testing your steering apparatus, I did this the time I was out. Do not swoop too n rth in moments of supreme coi It is hard to take a large slice n the top of some hill and still re- tain your composure. If at first you don’t” succes try again, obtained ina few any one is interested in my m chine, I should be pleased to have look it over, It is in splendid orde having been recently rebuilt. Addre: » of the Neurasthenia Ward, ue Hospital.—Exehange. A DEVASTATOR. One touch of winter raids the whole! world’s bin. —Kich mond Times-Dispatch. Men drank to the health of fair women in brimming glasses of Cook’s Imperial. Then, as now, no bet» ter could be had, 1859-1909 THE GOLDEN J UBILEE cooK’s IMPERIAL EXTRA DRY CHAMPAGNE “UP ABOVE THE WORLD SO HIGH.” yell, that don’t look ® Hous breaker—* '—London Punch. me 'ardly safe, some’ow. F you desire to make a reputation as an expert cocktail mixer, by the Club’? brand, follow direc tions, and your friends will wooder where you gained the art, Many acock- tail you have drunk and co your host for his art of mixing—the truth is you had a ‘Club Cocktail. Te merely required a little ice to it. st as well. FOR SALE BY ALL GOOD DEALERS. IN 8 MRO. Sole Poo practort wav, NEW Vous. N. Ve MaxtroKD, CONN.