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Judge, 1909-12-18 · page 13 of 16

Judge — December 18, 1909 — page 13: what you’re looking at

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Judge — December 18, 1909 — page 13: Judge, 1909-12-18

What you’re looking at

This page contains satirical commentary typical of *Judge* magazine's early 20th-century humor. The main content is a section titled "WHAT PEOPLE KNOW"—a series of witty observations about different social types: waiters, liars, farmers, cooks, and college men. These are gentle satirical jabs at common stereotypes, suggesting, for example, that waiters carefully manage tips, liars deserve no credit for dishonesty, farmers are practical, and college men are self-important. The page also includes period advertisements: a *Perfection* smokeless oil heater and *Blatz* beer from Milwaukee. The single cartoon visible depicts a man with a gun in an apparent crime scene (labeled "SO LOW"), with a humorous caption about shooting someone repeatedly without stopping them. The satire reflects turn-of-the-century American social observation rather than specific political commentary.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE is Published Weekly by the LESLIE-JUDGE COMPANY, 225 Fifth Avenue, New York City One year, oF & : era aa $ab criptions payable in advance by draft on New York, or by express or postal order, not by local duds vhichareala discount tn Ni G Po. awe free in the United Stat ayer r postage; to all foreign c ae 18 International News Company, Rream’s Building, Chancery Lane, F.C. de COpera, Turia; Saarbach's) News brchange, Mains, Germany. The contents of JUDGE are protected by co CONTRIBUTORS must inclade a stamped and res dherusse return of the latter when found unavailable cannot be gua If JUDGE cannot be found at any news-stand, the publishers will be under obligations if that fact be promptly reported on postal-card or by letter. BACK NUMBERS and Mexico, To Canadian Provinces add 6 cents year. esent year, 10 cents per copy ; 198, 20 CHANGE OF ADDR bscribers when onlering a change of address should gi ssthe vow address, and the ledger number on their wrapper. From two to three weeks must necessarily fore the change can be male, and before the first copy of JUDGE will reach any new subscriber. WHAT PEOPLE KNOW. THE LIAR. THE WAITER. That what people call gratuities are| That he has lots of competition. in reality earned. That an unconscious liar deserves no That people who live in hospitals | credit. shouldn't eat pie. That lying by the name of diplomacy That most half portions ought to be | smells no sweeter. aalled quarter portions. That most people do not care much That ham and eggs become much more | for the truth, anyway. ple if called by a French name. That artistic lying is an accomplish- the price on the bill is not al-! ment not to be despised. 3a fair guide to the quality of the| That the most important partof lying food. | is to know when to tell the truth. That people with the most money do/ not always give the largest tips. That condiments cover a multitude of poor food, That he is much more careful in the dining-room than in the kitchen. THE FARMER, That one steam plow is worth ten in | the hand. That the simple life reads a great deal better than it looks. a » £2 so Low, The man sith the gun—" N rdinary! I've shot him more than stop his screechi —landon Sketch. i! should insist that) That politicians love the simple life tow its insures your’ in campaign time. That there's many a middleman be- n the crop and the price quoted on Brery lover of @ ool cock’ Abbott's Hitters be used in m: fetting the very beat. THE COOK. t That it is her own fault if she goes ‘Change. hungry. er own fault if she Res) “That if it weren't for the rasa | That it is hard to find a pecfect lady the agricultural implement trust, and a to work for. few other important factors he'd be a That the housemaid ought to render Ticl man. her more assistance, That each place she works is the most inconvenient she ever saw. That she is the only person in the World who is not hard to please. That the time to get concessions is when there is company in the house. THE COLLEGE MAN. That colleges would be better off | without classrooms. That he can go further on a kangaroo walk than on a high stand. That the world is on tiptoe waiting for him to graduate. 7 - - ‘That it is just as easy to get along in P HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS life as it is in college. APER WAREHOUSE That every one on the street takes an extra look at him, or ought to.—E York: /Q, Jones in New York Times. In answer: Take It Anywhere Where it is most needed, there it is. On the north side of the house in the chilly days of early spring and late autumn or in the depth of winter, the coldest day— in the bed-room, bath-room, living-room, any exposed room, anywhere—you have just the degree of heat needed with a PERFECTION Smokeless Oil Heater Turn the wick as high as it will go, it cannot smoke; the Automatically-Locking Smokeless Device makes smoking impossible. This im- provement, which is found in no other heater, permits instant removal for cleaning. A solid brass font holds one gallon of ol which burns 9 hours. Indicator shows contents at a glance. The damper top and “Alaska” Cold Handle are some of the other features of the PERFECTION OIL HEATER —the only oil heater that is perfection. Finished in Nickel or Japan in various styles. here. Mi not at yours, sreslat to the rarest ecocy of the Every dealer wette for dese Standard Oil Company (ncorporated) Yes, friend, giirz Is the Ask for it at the Club Insist on Finest “Blatz”’