Judge — August 7, 1909 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

fact, mende¢ ploy served until Niage. hile Rock “The World’s Best Table Water’’ tnehites 1908, Teautifully bound and J the famous” Re itock, Flatiron bildg.. N.Y. City, no ready, 1909 editis ‘Sent f Miwatrated humorous book. CAMPING OUT. 1 like to lie And watch the sky, A LESSON IN ETIQUETTE. This story would read better if the incident had happened when there was company at dinner. As a matter of however, only the family was nt. The new maid had recom- herself as having been em- 4 in the households of various a ple of fashion, ‘Things went smoothly ough at the first dinner which she the meat and vegetable Then, instead of | , she stood idly Finally her mistress said, ‘ou may remove the dishe and serve the dessert.’ “All right, mum; I'm wai “Waiting for what?” Waiting for you to stack,"" “Stack what While others wash the dishes. Washington Herald. And when at night With appetite So keen the meals we eat, oh, "Tis satisfac. Tion when we whack The familiar mosquito. Seranton Tribune, course was finished. taking away the dish THEN SHE'LL TELL YOu, “Tell me," said the lovelorn youth, “what's the best way to find out what a woman thinks of you?"” HER MOODS. A woman is a thing, they say, Of moods, To be explicativ She points out to a man t ‘Vo go--and that's INDICATIVE. At first s sit gently, just To scene compunetiv Says that he ‘‘may,"” not that h And that’s her mood SUBJUNC’ If he demurs, does she give way? Nay, never for a minute! I've Known her to work for many a day To win, And that’s INFINITIVE. But if suggestion, patience, tact Fail, she becomes declarative. She orders—and you'd better uct | Good, when her mood’s IMPERA- TIVE! de must,’ TIVE. —Cleveland Leader, STRANGE COLLEGE CHAP. | She (home from Vassar)—'*Come out ‘to the baseball grounds and tell us the fine points about the game." | He (from Yale)—"Oh, much about the game." Say, | guess your cation has been a failure Statesman, I don’t know Yonk NOT WITHIN HIS JURISDICTION. A well-known New York judge, says Brooklyn Life, invited a friend of his, a lawyer from Boston, to go for a short trip on his yacht. A storm came up, and sue boat began to roll and toss ina judge laid a hand on his friend's shoulder, and said, *‘My dear fellow, is THE MINISTER'S TEXT. A little Topeka girl came hone from church the other day, and was asked what the minister’s text was, ‘Don't be afraid and I will get you a bed quilt,” was the astonishing answer. Investigation proved that the centra thought of the sermon had been ** F not, and I will send you a comforter. Technical World. OVERHEARD AT THE PLAY: its i ity,”” said the a man, es my breath away “1 only wish it would!"’ gloomily re- marked the lady in the next seat.— Smart Set, TWO OF A KIND. Mother (complainingly)—** Will s to have forgotten us at colleg letters are so short.”” Father (tersely)—"'S writes —Baltin CONUNDRUM. Freshman—"Who is the smallest man mentioned in history?” “T give it up." Freshman—*Why, the Roman soldier who slept on his wateh."*-—University of Pennsylvania Punch Bowl. SHAKE INTO YOUR SHOES It cures p. stantly takes the ems His Will when re American, he the age. or new shoen feel ¢ sweating, callous, xwolle tune it to Break by all drugs It isa certain cure for red, aching feet. Always stampa. Don't “Why, to stack the dishes and shove them down to this end of the tabl Christian Endeavor World, there anything I can do to make you aerrnt an “Marry her!” replied Sidreas A promptly. —Catholic Times, trial packaxe, Y. Without an. THE OLD FASHIONED BONNET. heart is the old-fash- NEITHER POLITE NOR WISE Mra, Tellit—""1t isn't polite to turn your back to people.”” Tellit—“It isn't wise, you are sure that your di the limit. Think it ther, unless ss is buttoned Chicagu med bonnet that Nell plums and red cherries stuck on it The bonnet that didn't require phony ir. The dish-ps stunn The waste come in quite the rage and recherché and cunning, But give me her chin. IDIOTIC. of all the idiotic things in my time I've heard, it takes the biscuit peak of the absurd. everywhere I go, In notes that blithely skid— vet may be stylish and ‘aper basket that's lately May the hat she tied under Detroit Free Press. It tal a woman to learn from a man things that he doesn’t know.—E'r. —Philade Iphia Star. For Liquor and Drug Using \ scientific remedy which has been skilfully by medical 29 years and fully administered spe At the following Keeley Institutes: alist for the past THE DRUG STORE. A drug store is a collection of bottl filled with poisons, and presided over b man who certificate from the State todeal them out to wh p sents a piece of paper made out by an- other man whose sole object is to con- his purpose by writing in a dead language, go into a drug store, as a rule, some habit. morbid curiosity. stful experi¢ using. an ineffe | More murders are committed in drug stores than in any other place on t f th . Even th fountain is built of polished ify its m ‘ound with them, ‘That is why ists and undertakers look alike Drug stores live by broken promise Life. hes of Abbott's Bitters aki greatly to nie effect of u glass of wine, Af the AT LAST. Parkay—"Thi gave me are i {hind the other. | Ticket-selle is it not?’ | and if you brinj hat it’s your own fault. |we sell ‘em now.""—New | A GOOD TEST. “How can you tell a young, Kid—"*No; Sloper's Half Holiday. Mothers will tind Mrs, Winslow's Soot! best remedy for their children. 2% peting, AN dealers, or by mail, S$, Rubber-covered Holster, It, With Pistol, $5c, Meney-order of U.S. stamps. No coins. Parker Stearns 6 Co, 2H Shettield Ave., Dept-E, B’klyn, N.Y. EVERY WOMAN is interested and should know about the won. “MARVEL WHIRLING SPRAY DOUCHE Ask your drug. gist for it. If he cannot sup. d directions tes. Address CO., 44 East 234 Street, New York SANTA/ hh LES * Keware of counterfeits, ‘S14 by a eroerine PROMPTLY RELIEVED BY. THE ENGLISH REMEDY BLAIR'S PILLS, -7 SAFE. & . EFFECTIVE S0c&SI} ROMEIKE'S Pres Cotton Barean wit