Judge — August 7, 1909 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TARIFF BILL. | Bill and big Bill ant short Bill and tall, Tully with the billygoats and sideburns nd all; Fat Bill and lean Bill and dumb Bill and smart, cue Bill and due Bill and Bill a lacarte: Tariff Bill's the first Bill, The middle and the last; For it’s always on the go, But it never gets a-past! Soft Bill and hard Bill and old Bill and new, Billy atribilious and Billy fresh as dew; Square Bill and round Bill and sour Bill and sweet, And little Billy breeches in his bare brown fe: Tariff Bill's the boss Bill, Who's like a Sunday beau, That lingers on the stairway And never wants to go! High Bill and dry Bill and Billy wild nd calm, And Billy in a fury, sir, and Billy-Ill- Jamun ; White Bill and tight Bill and Bills of sterday, You thought were out of re: clared you wouldn't iff Bill's the he old Bill fri ame when t I stays until the Baltimore on and de= aight Bill, world came end! Sin, long yaze in redulous se you can see the The beauty (turning fee The frund (pleased | The beauty mere reflection.” Bee NOT MUCH BY THE DAY. ght cents a dozen for eggs! Why, that’s more than | three cents for one egg!” you must re- r that one egg is a who Cleveland Leader. WANTS HER HAND, TOO. “And that young man kissed you on lips? Why didn’t you offer him your hand?"* said the father, “Oh, 1 didn't have to, papa,” said, the irl; ‘he's going to ask you for! that!’ — Yonkers Statesman, RATS. 1 ladies® puffs grow b The sign, ‘Remo Please remove y —Houston P “ost. age A CHEERFUL GIVER. an the caller, “I come to interest of the city’s poor children. i thought you might like to contribute to our fresh-air fund for them."" “Of course,’ said Mr. Stinjay, the wealthy suburbanite, “‘you may take as much as you please from my place; but how in the world are you going to carry it?""—Catholic Times. PASTORAL. He met the girl up the bridge, And kissed her on the spot. The brook murmured down below; The girl, she murmured not. —Red Hen. ALWAYS WORKING. “How do you manage to live without work?" asked the kind lad; “Tdon’t, ma’am,”’ answered the hobo. “I'm allers workin’ somebody."’—Chi- cago News. TIMES HAVE CHANGED, Boy—*Don't sit. there, sir. seut’s broke.” Testy old gentlenan—*Humph! In my young days boys had a sense of humor, ”"—Laneh, DELICATE COMPLIMENT. Mutliste—"To wear a fa with grace, you must have a head like this wooden model, That is th son why madame looks so ch hat E made for her." —Simplicissinas. That) hionable hat 1 Ewonder why? see anything but the Mandan Punch real me. LOST. “Watchman, What of the Night?” was the subject of William J. Bryan's recent speech at Columbus, O. | And Miss Democracy answers, ‘'The Night and I Am Far from Home. | ton Traveler, | ¢ appetizing after a few A BIG DIFFERENCE. Patience—" Do you know the name of that piece? Patrice “Do you mean the one the inging or the one the pian- £7" — Yonkers Statesman, BOTH PLEASED. floated down a voic is Mrs. Soandso, 1’ “It is Mrs. Soandso,”’ floated upwai a voice, Philadelphia Inquirer. | “if that In answering advertisements please mention Juncr. ming in the yiven a] In ‘Touch With The railroad president to-day spends the greater portion of the summer at his country home renewing his energy. He keeps in touch with his railroad system over the telephone. He may be one hundred miles or more away from headquart yet his office and the principal business centers of the country are within talking distance, He is notified immediately when anything important occur: 1- vice and direction are asked and over the telephone; the machinery of the road goes on. ch day, at the noon hour or in the early morning or late afternoon, he conducts his business over the long distance line. Long Distance Bell Service ii He is in touch with his world. Through the day he has been re- newing his energy—sailing, driv- ing, or playing golf—making him- self more fit for the busier scason and able at all times to handle a larger system and a larger volume ness than the president of two decades ago. This is simply an_ illustration which applies to every busy man, whether he be railroad president, merchant, manufacturer or profes- sional man. It shows the importance of universal service, which is the constant aim of the Associated Bell Companies—of onesystem,extend- ing to every nook and corner of the United States, keeping all lo- calities within speaking distance of one another, universal in two ways— in its extension ¢o all localities and in ite application to all human activities. Whatever your interests, it will advance them economically, certainly, constantly. The American Telephone and ‘Telegraph Company And Associated Companies Mlustrations by James Montgomery Flagg It will be appreciated. | 'One Policy, One System, Universal Service. If You Haven't Read Nervy Nat’s Adventures you've missed a good share of life’s fun. He insists upon getting into scrapes. Can't help himself. And you're glad he can’t, for it’s a pile of fun to watch his maneu- vers. He laughs his way into your affections by his colossal nerve. 85c Postpaid Judge Company 225 Fifth Ave., New York comicbooks.com