Judge — July 31, 1909 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE SONG OF THE RIP. With fingers rebelling and stiff, With frown on the front of his head, A bachelor sat on the edge of his couch, Plying his needle and thread. Stitch—stiteh— ht With a lonesome note on his lip, And still with a voice of doloro He sang the ‘Song of the Rip. pitch Work—work—work! He doesn’t care for that; With work—work—work ! He doesn’t support a flat; He can quit whenever he wants And work when his dough gives out, But the doing of work that a woman should do en Oa ji JOTIN JAMESON xk kk WHISKEY GENERALLY “Please, sir,” said the office-boy, “me gran'mudder’s dead, an’ I want de afternoon off."* “Johnny,” exclaimed his employer ly, **do you know where little boys go who tell lies?” Yes, sir; tode ball game," replied | Johnny unblushingly. — Philadelphia Record. - Stitch: HOTEL EARLINGTON 55 West 27th Street Near Broadway, New York Keware of counterfeit ROMESNE'S | appear abous you HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS PAPER WAREHOUSE | Loaf—loaf—loaf! | [haven't the courage to jump in the lake ‘first Is enough to grumble about. That does not satisfy; Work—work—work! I know no reason why. Oh, why continue to live? Or why should I stop and die? I know no reason for this or that, Or whether it’s truth or lie. But why do I talk of death, That phantom of grisly bone? Or turn on the gas alone. Seam and button and rip, Rip and button and sea Till over the buttons I fall asleep And sew them on in a dream, With fingers rebelling and stiff, With scowl on the front of his head, | A bachelor sat on the edge of his couch, Plying his needle and thread. | stitch—astiteh! With a lonesome note on bis li And still with a voice of dolorous He wang this “Song of the BUSY PAPA. “Mamma,” asked little thre could go, too, ued the little fellow. “Well, and don’t you think he will?” asked his mother, “he not leave his business. A RARITY. This story is told of th woul a lette f paper only the words, Mr. Beecher opened and then a delighted smile beamed over his face as he exclaimed, ‘Well! L've often heard of a man writing a letter and f{¢ ting to sign it, but this is the! fa man signing his n and forgetting to write the letter."’—United Presbyterian, et April Fool.” LIKE A CIGAR. * remarked the theatrical inquired the good,”? explained the man- © wants a box; and if bad, no amount of puffing will make | A DELIGHTFUL BEVERAGE MILLER- MILWAUKEE | To some dingy spot of refuge, to escape a could FAN ao ckcn ssesus HEADACHES 04,254,504, & $129 Bottles. THE ANNUAL SIEGE. In the spring a woman's fancy lightly turns to cleaning house, |In the spring the soapy water she will vigorously douse On the window glass and mirrors, while | her husband hies away the direful day. In the spring a newer polish tints the barnished kitchen stove, In the spring your coats and trousers o'er the alley fence are hove (Maybe “hove” is wrong to use here, but it surely fits the case). In the spring a smudge of cobwebs | decorates the housewife's face. In the spring you come home weary, and as through the wreck you creep You discover there’s no dinner and| you've not a place to sleep; And when gently you remark that there might be a saner plan For housecleaning, shrills a chorus, “Huh! Well, that’s just like a man —Chicago Evening Post. wuld insist that ng it; insures your LEGITIMATE. Client—"1 thought you left word in . your office that you were out on impor- This ball game important, and I can ure you that it is perfectly legal.” ago News, CTIVE STORY. d that the robbery must after midday on Feb-| n the treasure was have taken 5 ruary 20th, wi t which - ~Daily| Chronicte, ‘The author of not lived in vain herlock Holmes’? has Punch, Meters wit td brs. Wiaslow's South yey fur their chikieen. MAKING HIM OVER. “He is a self-made man, | am told.” “Quite true; but his mother-in-law insists on making some alterations, Birmingham Age-Herald, “Train up a servant in the way she should go," says the Philosopher of “and t '—Cleveland Leader. » first chance she gets, The Barber's Guide. ee * | We WINTERS, G20" Nort “Avenue, a a Miss Weldon, unlimited ex. | EUROPE. rence chaperone yosne | adiesabroad. Very highest references, AddressSie teen South Pirighton Avenue, Atlantic City, Nid. ‘Collars and ‘Cuffs GXBARKER ae ; Mi waocortnen ph | suts “156 FOR 25<" O24, HELPING THE ENGINEER. The brakeman was a novice, and on his first run there was a very steep | grade mount. The engineer always had more or less trouble to get up this grade, but this time he came near sticking. He almost lost his head. Eventually, however, he reached the top. At the station, looking out of his cab, | the engineer saw the new brakeman, and said with a sigh of relief, “T tell you what, my lad, we had a job to get up here, didn’t we?” “We certainly did,” said the new brakeman, ‘and if I hadn't put the brake on we'd have slipped back." WESTON, Ocean- to-Ocean Walker, ths NOTHING NEW. Pompous Briton ing Americans don’t hi the hounds’ as we do ove: Bluff individvat ing us, bo? Why, I was the m » Tom's Cabin’ thristian World. re Be t Bitter Liqueur! niderberg UT} World's Best & Bitters The finest of cor- and most ef- fectual of tonics combined. Sold everywhere. Sold Everywhere. U.S. Agents, New York. IDENTIFIED. Sunday-schod superintendent — “Ek can you tell me anything about the