Judge, 1909-07-31 · page 15 of 16
Judge — July 31, 1909 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising and humor miscellany** from an early 20th-century American satirical magazine. The main cartoon, "Shears and Paste Pot," parodies Tennyson's "Charge of the Light Brigade," mocking a 1909 incident where 9,000 London police stopped suffragettes attempting to enter Parliament. The poem satirizes their "charge" as futile, with "Bobbies" (police officers) surrounding them, ending in arrest at "Hollowell" (likely Holloway Prison). Other brief humor items mock everyday situations: a druggist who can't recommend anything, children's logic about discipline, weak engagement promises, and marital mishaps. The jokes rely on wordplay and mild social observation typical of the era. The page includes substantial advertising for **Hunter Baltimore Rye whiskey** and **Blatz Beer**, emphasizing quality and availability at establishments. The overall tone is light, domestic humor targeting middle-class readers, with the suffragette parody being the only overtly political content—presented mockingly.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
El- the the Shears and Paste Pot STUMPED THE DRUGGIST. “Have you a city directory the lady, entering the drug store. “No, I have not,’’ replied the pill ‘and I must say you've stumped THE CHARGE OF THE FRIGHT BRIGADE. (With apologies to the Light Brizade.) It required 9,000 London policemen to check the mt attempt of the nuffrarettes toenter the House ‘No, Tommona,~ News item. asked me." “How 80?” “Why, I can’t truthfully say I’ve got something just as good.""—Yonkers Statesman, Arf asquare, Arf asquare, Arf a square onward, Inter th’ jaws o’ ja’ Strode th’ two ‘undered! Bobbies to rightof ‘em, Bobbies to left of 'em, Bobbies in front of ’em, Bustled an’ blundered. Inter th’ jaws o° jail, Inter ol’ Hollowell, Strode th’ two ’undered! ‘WESTON. How fleeting are all things below; How weak each strong endeavor. For men will come and men will go, But Weston walks forever. —Cleveland Plain Dealer, HOW KIND. Edyth—‘Jack says 1 was made to kiss,”” Mayme—"'A diplomatic way of re- ferring to your turned-up nose, wasn’t it?""—Chicago News, Stormed at with ‘oot an’ yell, Bravely they fit and fell; Inter ol” Hollowell Strode th’ two 'undered! They didn’t reason why, But let their flippers fly, Closin’ a Bobby's eye— While th’ world wondered. —Cleveland Plain Dealer, lover of @ good cocktail should insist that Bitters be Used in making it; insures your the very best. es i WELL REMEMBERED. Did your uncle remember you in his will “Oh, yess he left instructions that the money [owe him be collected.”* TWO AND TWO NOT ALWAYS FOUR. | Teacher—*Now, boys, here's a little ‘ample in mental arithmetic. How old Id a person be who was born in| A GENTLE HINT. Visitor (at the table)—"So you are a good little girl, Mamie, and always mind mamma, your papa says.” Mamie (in the proud consciousness of virtue)—"*Yeth, thir; the told me not to ath for another pieth 0 pic, and 1 ain't never done it."’—Haltimore Amer- ican, wo 18° Pupil—*Please, teacher, was it a man or a woman?” —Red Hen, ANOTHER VERSION. THE TEST. Gunner— And now comes a professor who declares that fruit is just as healthy with the akin on i | “Hm! rt him on adiet of pineapples. Chicago News. it from the scene; In youth my misery ‘Came from its apples gr —New York FRUITLESS FAME. “What is your member of Congress noted for?”” MIND-READING. “Well,” answered Farmer Corntos: reday—Um—ah—er—er | ‘around here he’s mostly noted for | guments that won't go down and sc Bring | that won't come up.""— Washington Star, Jeweler (to his that tray of engagement rings here, Henry.""—Tit-Bits. assistant) AMBIGUOUS. Hostess—"'It's beginning You'll get wet. to rain. DEFINITION UP TO DATE. I think you'd better! A MINT JULEP HUNTER BALTIMORE RYE 1S A DRAUCHT OF COOL REFRESHMENT THE DAINTIEST SIP THAT PASSES LIP Bold at all Pret-class cafes and by jolhors, iM. LANAMAN & SON, Baltinore, Md. SHE MIGHT HAVE HELPED. He—“It was a frightful moment when I received your letter telling me of the insuperable obstacle to our marriuge. I would have shot myself, but 1 had no money to buy a revolver.” She—Deareat, if only you had let me know !""—Simplicissimus. THE NEWLYWEDS. Mr. Newlywed—"The moths have eaten every single thing in the closet, Ida,’? “Edon’t see how they could get in. I've kept the door locked "'—Brooklyn Life. THE OBLIGING SERVANT. “Waiter, get me a newspaper so1 can hide my yawns; this concert is so etupid.”” “Yes, miss; I'll bring the largest I can find,”"—Fliegende Blaetter, all summer lon, First aid to the host. ne at meal time all times. BIAIZ ~@ You can tell a Blatz Bottle a block mrewaunee ‘he achievement in brewing. one notable The veritable fulfillment of beer character, quality and lways the same healthfulness Coed Old late Ask for it at the Club, Cafe or Buffet. Insist on “Blatz.’? Correspondence invited direct. VAL. BLATZ BREWING CO., MILWAUKEE, WIS. Pat—‘An’ phwat the divil is a stay to dinner." chafin’ dish? Departing guest—"Oh, dear, no! It's Mike—“Whist! Ut's a fryin’ pan. not raining so badly as all tha! that’s got into society.’’"—Exchange. | ney Bulletin, Write the Val. Biatz Brewing Co., mentioning this paper, for their interesting booklet entitled “A Genial Philosopber. comicbooks.com