Judge — July 31, 1909 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Jokes Others WISE BEYOND HIS YEARS. Pr-sident Nicholas Brown, for whom Brown University was named, was fond of quizzing small boys. One day, while walhing the streets of Providence, he camv upon a little fellow who attracted his notice. ‘How do you do, my boy?” said the president. ‘What is your nam sf “My name is Harry, chill. itary, Brov “And did you know the one is often called Old Harry?” “Why, no, sir,”’ answe “L thought he was called Old Ni ** replied the evil k."" “YIELD NOT TO TEMPTATION.” “Love your neighbor as yourself,” said the minister with great earnestness. whispered the lady who the boy. | Are Cracking | DIFFICULT ADVICE. Charles G. Gates, the well-known | financier, was discussing at the Calumet Club in Chicago the $8,500 bulldog that he had recently bought. “Can one make money by breeding such valuable dogs?’’ a Chicago man in- quired. “Perhaps one can,’ said Mr. Gates. He laughed. “To do so, though, would js it?’’ returned President “Mrs, Rayce, you know, was talking to another young woman at a tea. “**How much better off a man would be,’ said the other young woman, ‘if he would only take his wife's advice! “Quite true, my dear,’ said Mrs. Rayce. ‘I’ve advised my George time and time again not to bet on horses that don’t win, but he will do it.’ pretty young widow, | y.. This is no piace for you.”” go Iecord-Herald, BROKEN IN TIME. Dyr—"Did his widow succeed breakinge his will?”? Dull "Yes; long before —Piekmennp in » died.” “THE TOURISTS’ LINE.” It is extremely doubtful whether any railroad in the Unit touches so ure & Hudson. begins in the ley, not far fr ning: massacre when Forty tourist for Al- by taking short this railroad, drop off at Cooperstown, so rich in historic and lit- erary interest, and at Cherry V scene of another Ir of this railroad run t was fought one of the fifteen decisi battles of the world. By this same railroad one may reach the ruins of Fort the Del, vania division of the W Fort bany at Crown Point, N.Y. In- deed, practically all the region around Lake Champlain which is skirted by this railroad is full of historic inte: 5 It is little wonder, therefore, that this line is called ‘The Leading Tourists’ y Excellent in Every Way CHURCH ADVERTISING. Pastor—*1 was so sorry for your wife during the sermon this morning, doctor. She had such a dreadful fit of coughing that the ¢ of the whole congregation we fixed upon her. —*Don't be unduly alarmed. ring her new hat for the | eqeude Blactter. IF CONVENIENT. srextract from a letter of | ks is cherished | cipient: “The beautiful clo nt use in perfect condition, und is now i lor on top of the bookshelves, wh hope to see you and your hus- nd, also, if he can make it conven- tt.’ —Universalist Leade The me the A BUILDER'S BON MOT. James G, Houghton, president of the Building Commissioners’ Society, was pplauded for a bon mot at a builders’ banquet in Minneapoli “*A poor foundation,” said Mr. Hough- ton, “will in the end cause the collapse of everything but scandal,’”” “MAGNA CUM LAUDE.” “Did your son graduate with honors “I should say so. He had two frac- tured ribs, a broken arm, and numerous strained tendons.’’—fed Hen, Dewars Famous Scotch Whisky Seventeen Cents a Day Buys an Oliver Typewriter! This amazing offer—the New Model Oliver Typewriter No. 5 at seventeen cents a day—is open to everybody, everywhere. It's our new and immensely popular plan of selling Oliver Type- writers on little easy ps ayments, The abandonment of /onghand in favor of clean, legible, beautiful éypewrit- ing is the next great step in human progre: Already—in all lines of business, and inall professions—the use of pen- and-ink is largely restricted to the writing of signatures. The prompt and generous response of the Oliver Typewriter Company to the world-wide demand for universal typewriting, gives tremendous im- petus to the movement. The Oliver, with the largest sale ofa ny typewriter in existenc machine to take the tive in bringing about the dduersal use of typewriters. [t a/ways leads. Save Your Pennies and Own an Oliver ‘The Oliver ‘Typewriter turns out more work —of better quality a variety—tha: Th This *Seventeen-Ceuls-a-Day" seviing, plan makes the Oliver as easy t 1 greater HUN AS hine within yindivid to rent. It places the ma y other writing machine. easy reach of every home—ev | mal, man's “ci; ya we man’s “pin money" —will buy it. 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