Judge, 1909-07-03 · page 3 of 16
Judge — July 3, 1909 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page satirizes Fourth of July celebrations through two main pieces: **"Touching Off a Giant Cracker"** (top): The explosion cartoon depicts various figures—including what appears to be politicians, officials, and social groups—being launched into the air by a massive firecracker. This likely mocks the chaotic nature of Independence Day festivities and perhaps critiques how different American constituencies (represented by the diverse figures) are thrown together by patriotic celebration. **"Uncle Sam's Flower Pot"** (center illustration): Shows Uncle Sam's head as a decorative vessel sprouting various American activities and types of people, symbolizing America's diverse population and industries growing from the nation's foundation. The accompanying text offers satirical "suggestions for a safe Fourth of July parade," listing humorous (and dangerous) parade elements meant to mock both celebration excess and contemporary social concerns.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SUGGESTIONS FOR A SAFE AND SANE FOURTH OF JULY . PARADE. “Y) EAF-MUTE muffled drum corps. Luther Burbank, distributing the Burbank Noise Fire-crackers to the crowd. Senator Stone, of Missouri, heading the Congressional Gum-shoe Brigad Mayor of the city, reciting the Declaration of Independence in a whispe Inventor Maxim demonstrating the Maxim > Silencer for toy cannon, anvils, ete. Delegation of ear-muff manufacturers, in automobiles. Carnegie Librarians, in felt slippers, bearing the cus- tomary library sign: SILENCE. Fireworks Manufacturers and Officials of the Powder Trust, in chains and wearing crepe. Doctors, also wearing cre Schoolboys, on foot, mostly throwing stones at the paraders. ARTHUR CHAPMAN. SLANG—SEASONED TO THE FOURTH CELEBRATION. Punk Ditto, All over Noise. Beat it—The drum. Fired—The pistol. All up—Sky rockets. Sure pop—The torpedoes. Tl be blowed—The horn. A kicker—The old musket. Up in the air— The bombs. High balls—-Roman candles, Bang up —The giant cracker. Scratched —The little mateh. Off in a bunch Firecrackers. Full of hot air- The balloons. Never again—The exploded mine. Going sume —Thé “* nigger -chas- me?" One good turn deserves another— Pinwheels. thing doin’—If you thought to sleep late. In at the finish—The family doctor. TOUCHING OFF A GIANT CRACKER THE NEW MOTHER GOOSE. HIS is an age of revision. Everything that has been done in T the past is now being done all over again and brought up to date, if not improved, In view of the fact that nobody as yet has seen fit to attempt a revision of the rhymes of the nursery, we beg leave to suggest a few alterations of the old text that we hope will find favor with the young. They follow: (MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB.) Mary had a motor-car That smelt of gasoline, And everywhere that Mary went It scented up the scene. It followed her to school one day, ‘ybody guessed That Mary’d got her summer clothes Out of the camphor chest. (BYE, BABY BUNTING.) Bye, Baby Bunting, Teddy's gone a-hunting To get a brand-new rhino's hide For the Smithsonian Institution. (PUSSY CAT, PUSSY CAT, WHERE HAVE Taxicab, taxicab, Where have you been? I've been to London to see the Queen, Taxicab, taxicab, What did you the Charged the poor cues inside three times his fare! (LITTLE Roy Bi Little Boy Blue, come blow your horn, ‘The cow's in the meadow, the sheep's in the corn; The bull's in the pasture, with wings on his feet, And Patten’s got hold of a corner ir wheat. ) (IF ALL THE WORLD WE! : APPLE Pi If all the world were mucilage, And glue was-all the sea, Oh, what an awful sticky world This stuck-up world would be! JOHN KENDIICK BA! IN RE THE PANTALOON SKIRT AID of Athens, faithless flirt! Give me back my coat and shirt; Or, since they adorn your chest. Keep them now and wear the rest! LITTLE inside information. The wid to me—July 5th. WARWICK JAMO PRICK Sounds 4 UNCLE SAMS FLOWER POT alimentary canal is 40 feet long. comicbooks.com