Judge, 1909-07-03 · page 4 of 16
Judge — July 3, 1909 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several humorous pieces about early 20th-century American life rather than political cartoons. **"Winifred's Wonderful Washing"** satirizes a woman's domestic mishap—her gallon can of gasoline nearly explodes while cleaning gloves by a parlor stove, highlighting the dangers of using flammable cleaning products in homes without modern safety standards. **"Independence Day"** is a comedic poem about a boy's chaotic Fourth of July celebration involving firecrackers, rockets, and property damage—poking fun at unregulated holiday celebrations. **"The Fourth" in Bugville** depicts anthropomorphized insects celebrating Independence Day, likely a whimsical children's illustration. The page mixes domestic comedy with holiday humor, reflecting turn-of-the-century American life and family entertainment values rather than political satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
FAVORITE. JUDGE MISS MARMION STONE, IN “* Hello, people, hello!” ‘The little love-god twangs his bow, And shoots out his darts At the audiences’ hearts Each night at your musical show. MISS INNOCENCE.”? INDEPENDENCE DAY. AD A BULLY time to-day! Didn't do a fing but play! ke Everybody scolded me, "Cuz I got so cross; but, és gee! Couldn't make wheels hum Some of them was werry bum! Shot a rocket in the flat; Seta on daddy's hat! the pin- Fizzer didn’t burn up quite, But the hat burnt up, all right! Shot a crac! Burnt a rug: Tore my my fac Broke a brand-new chinny vase; Got a spankin’, wif a book, From Joannabel, the cook. rata bug, in muzzer's pants and burnt Didn't mean to spoil her hat I was shootin’ at the cat! My balloon—a elephant Wouldn't go up worth a cent! Roman candles wouldn't shoot, r chasers wouldn't scoot, didn’t leave no tail er got ‘em ata Shot my crackers all be Tt was noon, and wan’ Borrowed sixty cents from dad, W'ich was all the change he had; Soaxed two bits from Cousin J Begged a nickel from Aunt Bess Tried to get a dollar from Uncle Pete, but his ear-drum Wasn't fastened on his head— t hear jus’ wot I said; ed a dime from Sister Sue, And free cents from Bruzzer Hugh; Worried muzzer awful lot, Cried a dollar’s worth, and got Firteen cents, to go away And not speak to her all day. Spent my money—all I had Tried to get some more from dad. He was jus’ a-reachin’ down, W’en he looked up wif a frown. I knew wot he meant by that He'd found out about the hat! I got licked and sent away But I had a bully day! MARROLD SKINNER. WINIFRED'S WONDERFUL WASHING. (A Thrilling Escape in Two © INNIE had a gallon "Twas full of gasoline. She sat down by the parlor sto’ Last summer's gloves to clean. The gasoline did not explode, Nor she “ go up the spout Dear Winn not an angel yet, *Cause the parlor fire was out. JACK P. KOBINSON. GETTING READY. Dicks—* 1 see you have a bundle there. Not getting ready for the Fourth so early Wicka—** Yes,"" Dicks—'* Roman candles and fire- crackers, eh? Wicks —* Nope. arnica, INFANT AND UMPIRE. H® COULDN'T call the baby The name it sweetly Yet he could call the umpire A thousand different nan Witchhazel and NO DANGER. The serious one (solemnly)—"* My friend, prepare to meet thy doom The happy one shur. I'm not goin’ Don’t thie) worry "bout me (hie), hic) home to-night. N THE dressing-room, beauty is only * make-up "" de MAMMA'S LITTLE HELPER. 66 GRAY," asks the small boy, sidling into the parlor while the gentleman caller waits for S his mother, the handsome widow, to come down, ‘* are you thinkin’ of marryin’ mamma 2” ““ Why—er—I don’t know, Willie. Why do you ask, my little man?” ‘Cause if you win’t I can go outdoors and ride my bicycle an* play ball with the fellers my age; but if you are I got to stay inside an’ play with a lot o' kid things.” ON THE BOARDS. ‘Tis BETTER to have starred and failed than never to have starred at all. 2) “oT “FOURTH IN BUGVILLE. comicbooks.com