Judge — July 3, 1909 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

T” onan Building, 225 Fifth Avenue, New York. Cable Address, “Judgark.” Tel. 6632 Madison Square. JOHN A. SLEICHER, President. W. Schneiler, Secretary. Arthy Wroerknn Anynacrisine Orvicn= 1196-7 Marquette Huilding, Ch Terry, Treasurer, 0, Mt Grant E. Hamilton, Art Editor. James M. Lee, Man. e PUBLISHED WEEKLY AT TEN CENTS A COPY. JUDGE'S CRACKERS—SMALL AND LARGE. THE SMUGGLING SEASON. HE DECISION, * It was a glorious Fourth,"’ usually de- T: SMUGGLING season has opened propitiously, and every pends upon the age of the judge. day large hauls are reported by the custom house. So far the Without detracting in the least from the p! contraband articles discovered appear to consist chiefly of of the future presidents still in short pants, their elders pearls, monkeys, and sheath gowns. Strangely enough, the might fittingly celebrate Independence Day by doing things that one would think were the jest to get through without something to promote the movement to establish suitable detection are the things that have been confiscated. One lady was and permanent residences for American consuls in for- discovered with a Salome costume hidden away in a pill-box in the eign lands, The more noise that is made on this subject the better. bottom of her trunk, when by the exercise of a little prudence she After the Fourth has passed look out for the editorials in the — might easily have brought it in as a bookmark in a pocket diction- newspapers on * Mortalities of the Fourth.'' Such editorials are a ary or a French phrase book. With larger articles, the smugg! fak: This year they should be headed ‘* Mortalities of the Fifth."’ seem to have been more successful, for we do not find any allusion ‘overnor Hughes, to anybody’s being apprehended for bringing a rhinoceros, a grand of New York, has piano, or an elephant in undeclared. There are no giraffes, onyx touched off a few staircases, pyramids, old masters, or tally-ho coaches among the crackers since his in- things reported, either. Altogether it looks as if smuggling on a auguration. Other large scale had b taught at our institutions of learning, at the crackers are still expense of the refinements which in the old days made it possible smoldering and liable for a man to get by the inspectors with a foreign-made cinder in his to explode any minute. eye without having to pay duty on it. Certain politicians will do well to remem- PEN-POINTS. ber the experience of G™ your canoe painted and the leaky places caulked while in their boyhood days. New York. Colonel Goethals says that the Panama Canal The trouble with will be ready August Ist, 1911. JupGk offers the suggestion that experience is that so it be opened with a college boat race, | | | few people are born en's (| with it. Jupce extends a most cordial invitation to the college gradu- The more people ates of 1909 to visit New York as soon after commencement as pos- fr hooks up his wife's gown says things be- hind her back that he ase would not dare to say a to her face. IT WAS A GREAT FOURTH. The man who draws a large salary for serving another should not waste too much time minding his own business, It was probably Eve also who first taught Adam that a peach looked good enough to eat. It may be that minorities are always right, but they are always left at the polls. Money talks, but it is usually a confession of gilt that it g' The blessing of poverty lies in the fact that when we afflicted with it we know the worst. The real truth is that when poverty comes in at the door true love puts on the gloves and makes it look like a counterfeit Cana- dign dime with a hole in it. OVER ‘THE LINE. {\,3ou get to help you sible. Most of you will drift to New York anyway. So come early \ keep a secret, the The early bird gets the job. USE rf sooner it gets away if © from you. OM : Many a man who