Judge — April 3, 1909 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WOULDN'T ACCEPT THE PRESIDENCY. | ENNIS, the reporter, approached the great Commoner with a degree of reluctance characteristic of the or- dinary run of newspaper men, Taking the pencil from his car, he ejaculated, ir. Jennings, I understand that you have no desire" —~ Young man," broke in the editor and states- | man, “you are perfectly right, I have ab > no desire to be President of the United Stat withstanding the fact that the salary has be creased to seventy-five thousand per annum, it is still my most urgent wish to remain a private and fight in the ranks of the party. ly, I have never really wanted to be the chief executive of this ran to keep other incompetent and incapacitated candidates at of Democ “All this talk about the presidency being a position of high honor is absurd, ay. [cannot see where the fame As far as Iam concerned, it does st. I merely want to protect my party from ruin, and, in order to keep out a lot of usion, I want to insist that my suit Corn Cakes— Griddle Cakes of all Makes taste better, set better, are better when served with f@ro The most healthful and nutritious syrup for every use, from griddle cakes to candy. A book of recipes for cooking and candy-making sent free on request. All Grocers, 10¢, 25¢, 50¢ (CORN PRODUCTS REFINING COMPANY, New York comes. not interest me in the | ifn ary, | will accept the nomination in 1912 acterless off ers. In cor Ido not want to be President, If you will excuse me now, 1 will p: case, for Lam off on a lecture tour to-night.” sounii so RieREy “There's a new arrival in the lion family at the zoo this mornin “All right. Put acub reporter on the job." —Exchange. ‘| “NAD THE BRAIN CHILD.” Jit} suitable 4— “Well, what about Shelley's ' runt ool My, | | — Punch. | ALL ALIKE TO ME. BEING A BIRD HAS SOME ADVANTAGES—NOT MANY FOLKS CAN SIT ON A BARBED-WIRE FENCE! Call them by any name you will; Nor care I what their cost may be, Vhethe: e) ¢ fast, slow, THE MAN BEFORE THE GUN. Mipathes they're fant, elaws Jareey or 5 lots of praise when the battie’s done, | All autos smell alike to me! all for the man behind the gun, 2 | Browning's Magazine, 11 want a fighter, I'll take the one That's willing to get before the gun, | LY DELIGHTFUL It's easy to lic behind a rock, | Or in a ditch, with a rifle stock : “Che he Dainty tint Covered ndy Coated Chewing Gum Particula rly Desirable after Dinner nd shoot all day -my, half a mile When the war is over, the woods are full Of the men that fought behind the guns; And the cemeteries, they are full Of the men that stood before the guns, W. Ww, STICKLEY, IT’S ALL IN THE NAME. A PERFECT CINCH. Tom—"Belle is a strange girl She) ‘The poet tribe should not repine does not know the names of some of her About the good year 19( best friends it were easy, I divine Mand—““The find a rhyme for 1905 nothing. Why, 170 find Parc eli a sai abating ocabume al pard may reel off line on line don’t even know what my own name will Tor tne theme of 1909, be a year from now."’—-Ilustrated Bits, YOUR FRIEND ABOUT TOWN KNOWS that the flavor of Chiclets is the flavor of creme de menthe Whether the illustration 1s for disoiay advertisi ork oF catalog, the BAC. Ci tervice. Color ete all of the highest quality. Day and Night Service = Barnes-Crosby Co. = I want no better snap for mine — ‘Than such a year as 1909, Ute And other bards will doubtless sign “The stork has brought a little peach!" ‘4 vote of thanks to 1909. ‘The nurse said with an air. —Seranton Tribune, “I'm mighty glad,” the father said, “He didn’t bring a pair!" , others wil find Mrs. Winslow's Soothing $ | Yonkers Statesman. ‘ya eeredy tor therchlinen Pee eae EW. HOUSER, Pres. Artists : Engravers : Catalog Makers = 215 Madison Street, Chicago Branch offices 1a 15 principal cities old in S¢ 10¢ and 25¢ packets oa frank Billeer & Cone. Iphia, Pri ‘Aand Coronta Can. SOUT eAuuevuavavuucaeacacennuauicenneannniintttt comicbooks.com