Judge — April 3, 1909 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OH, TO BE A BEE! HOW seth the tittte busy bee Improve each shining minute ty gayly loafing in his hi And eating all that's in it. CHANGED CONDITIONS. 66QAY, mamma," pouted Freddy, ‘you don't take me to half as many places as you used to." “You 've become such @ big boy, my dear’? explained his mother, ‘‘you see they make me pay for you now."” BOOKISH. IFFERENT ideas in all things obtain, Even in buying books; Some people buy them’ for what they contain, Some people for ‘* De Luxe.” ONLY CASE ON RECORD. George—"* Do you believe the woman ever lived who could truly say to her lover that he was the first man she IN 1910. had ever kissed 7 THE GOVERNMENT AERO SQUAD CAPTURED MANY SMUGGLERS, Madge SOME NOTES ON NEW YORK. (Being a series of extracts from the notebook of a recent visitor to the metropolis.) HEY used to say that a man could get used to the house clad in a magnificent fur coat that set me to rything in thia world but hanging, but wondering how many men and animals had been skinned to enable that does not hold good in New York. A her to have it. moment's glance at the millions who use It is a mistake to suppose that New Yorkers are altogether the straps in public conveyances demon- mercenary. At a fashionable dining place the other night, a hurried strates, beyond peradventure, the fact that waiter dropped a plateful of Lynnhaven oysters down the back of ‘ the New Yorker is not only used to hanging, my neck, and when I summoned the proprietor he graciously refused but takes it as a matter of course. to charge me for th I was much impressed by his impulsively They tell me that this city contains a spontaneous liberality. It seemed to show that it was instinctive little of everything that there is in the with him. world, but, after a considerable search for It has impressed me more and more, as I have gone about New something of the sort, | have almost aban- York, that while it is very difficult for a man to stand upon his own don : New Yorker. feet in the metropolis, it is equally difficult for him not to stand on Tam not at all cynically d toward women, but as I walk — the feet of some one else. up Fifth Avenue and see the hats and gowns in which they are dis- Some philosopher has said that every great city has a distine- porting them: ir, | cannot help doubting if we could find tive smell of its own, I have noticed this myself in London and anywhere on this whole broad earth an equal number of men who Paris, As for New York, I suppose that the day will come when its odor has been concreted into something defini but just at present it seems to be wavering be- tween that of gasoline and talcum powder. 5 When one sees a Vice- President of the United States slip into a New York theater and out of it again unnoticed, while every opera glass in the house ia leveled upon the ‘ would consent to look th way if they could. There may be a large number of true American types in New York, but I must confess that for the most part they seem more like typographical errors. At the theater, one night last week, a sitting behind me fast- ened her hat to my back by running it and me through with a ten-inch famous defendant in a di- \ hatpin. When I called her voree case, sitting in a attention to the fact, shi stage box, one begins to smiled amiably, and with realize the difference be- much gracious affability tween fame and notoriety. begged me not to men- I once advocated the tion it. I was about to establishment in New retort upon her husband, York of a sane asylum when it occurred to me for the accommodation of at, after all, he deserv- people who seemed to me ed my pity rather than to be absolutely normal, my scorn, so I let the but Lam inclined to with- matter drop. draw the suggestion. 2 At the opera the A SAD PLIGHT. There are not enough 5 other night, the wife of a , saw. cea such people here tomake i millionaire of a pat alte. Farmer Pipkin—“Well, Eph, what's up | a i Ephraim. s ter know if he kin borrow yer peg leg in the mornin’ ter go ter it pay. ther commendable ree- court. He give his’n a fresh coat o° varnish and ‘tain’t goin’ ter be dry enough ter wear.” MORACE DoDD casTiT. comicbooks.com