Judge — December 7, 1907 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE CHRISTMAS COOK-BOOK By a Frenzied Chef HRISTMASSED CUCUMBERS—Take an bundle of asparagtii and rub the tip of each one to and fro (or vice- ordinary cucumber; bore a hole in each versa-if you are lett-handed) on the creamed file after the same manner end and blow out the seeds. When this is that you would strop a razor. This will make the tips of the asps. done fill in the emerald shell with pot-cheese very “sharp” and save you the price of seasoning. Next, get a and stop up one end with a tiny piece of soap. By blowing into the unclosed hole a number of soap- bubbles can be blown out of the other end. Take these bubbles, smother them in cracker-dust and put in the oven for five minutes to bake. If the day is cloudy, bake for six minutes. This makes a delightful dish for toothless people, and we recommend it for a * light” lunch YULE ON1oNS—Take a quart of onions to the bath-room and wash thoroughly —the onions, of course. Dry with a Turkish towel and put talcum powder on the chafed spots. Remember, we are talking about the onions. When thus prepared, lay out in hot sun to tan, Then cut into small pieces and with a sharp knife cut the odor from each onion. If odor is so strong that it cannot be removed, serve with scented white paint instead of cream. HOLIDAY SALAD—We have been asked by Miss Lydia Pinkham, Jr., if salad can be made hy cutting up green transfers and drowning them in vinegar. We emphatically exclaim No." Our wite once tried this and it caused considerable fanchonette (no, we can’t tell you whether to get it in a hardware disturbance on the « Jt line.” store or a grocery) and after the fanchonette—but what's the use of ASPARAGUS FANCHONETTES—This is just the dish to finish the lying ; we might just as well confess right now that we don't know Christmas dinner, and, perhaps, the diner. Get an amateur pugilist_ what a fanchonette is and couldn't tell one from a fiea’s kidney. to whip some cream and spread it out on a fine file, Then take a CHRISTMAS PIE-CRUST—Housewives are often troubled about making pie-crusts properly, but they are not half as much troubled as those who eat them, Some pie-crusts are so hard that they can not be opened with anything but prayer. In order that every one can make a good pie-crust we give the following recipe, handed to the writer by Billy, the bald chef, just prior to his committing suicide by drowning himself in a copper vat of MONK SANTA’S SURPRISE. ‘6 Monk —"* Great Caesar's ghost! What the Dick:ns do they take me for? A moving-van?” soup: Plaster of paris ... acaxese Shey Alum. senesemesoepsnesec! 4 1OOpS Borax -csccssiosass any quantity Carbonate of potash (ask somebody that knows) Mix with impunity or water. Curistas Dutch RoLts—Take a lump of dough about as big as a medicine-ball, borrow a steam-roller from an as- phalt company, and roll the dough out until it is about as thick as the skin of a rhinoceros ; place some cubes of butter upon the dough three inches apart, until it looks like a pimply skin mag- nified. Sprinkle with sugar and put in oven to bake, Take out in ten minutes and if same is found too tough to eat it can be used as a rug in the parlor or a bed quilt. IMITATION CRANBERRY SAUCE—Take a quart of cream and pit until it becomes inflamed, Keep on whipping it until the inflammation, or redness, is of the proper cranberry shade. When this has been done take the first steamer to Greenland, and when you arrive at that place stand the bowl of scarlet liquid onto the nearest iceberg to cool, and jell. Roast Teppy BEAR—Get a good, fat Teddy bear ; have its hair shaved off close by a tonsorial artist, and open up one of the seams to admit hand, Extract everything but the bear's popularity, and when he is as empty as a closed car in summer- time stuff with bivalves (no other kind of valves will suffice). Of course the oysters must he shelled, After extracting them from their anthracite envelopes, if the oysters are too limber THE LATEST ARRIVAL. and mushy, they can be stiffened up with a little starch. Another case of swelled head. Ss comicbooks.com