Judge — December 7, 1907 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

R. JOLLYBOY (who has dined not wisely, but too well)—« Waiter, zish Christmas Eve ?” “Yes, sir. ts, eb? “Oh, yes, sir.” thay, but that las’ bottle makes me shink it's gentle, gentle springtime, and robins are shing- in’ and flowers are bloomin’, and ; everybody ’s happy. Waiter, do as waiter minds his own business and don’t shing he'll live to good old age. Waiter, if I should whoop jus’ once for good ol’ springtime—jus’ one lil” whoop— would be all right 2" “Better let me get you an- other cigar, sir. “No, shir. and rest, waiter. you (hic) stand so much. sit down, lesh talk "bout Christ Thish time of year when 's more blessed give than You got sit down Shame make Waiter, mas. (hie) receive, ishn’t it ?” “Yes, sir; so they say, si “ Coursh it is, waiter—coursh Know what (hic) I'm goin’ itis. do? I'm goin’ give away million dollars to-night. Yeshir, not one shent less (hic). Everybody ’s got be happy like me. You happy, waiter?” «Well, not very, sir. I've had a good deal of sickness at home, sir. “Shay no more, waiter—shay no mote, You get whole million, Now, sit down, waiter, and be happy million Thank you kindly, sir. You're (nic) millionaire jus’ shame. “Not just now, sir. “All rit, waiter—all ri’. Mr. Millionaire, I shalute you—I shalute you, shir.” Thank you, sir; thank you kindly, sir.” + Don’t (hic) mention it, waiter—don’t mention such trifle. Every- body should give mil- lion on Christmas and (hic) make folks happy. What you going do with that waiter ?” million, “Tl buy the wife and children a Christ- mas present with some of it, by your leave, sir.” “You (hic) got wife and children, waiter 2” “Yes, sir.” “How waiter?” many, waiter ? Shay,you'll need two millions for" “Oh, no, sir— cight children, si “Oh, thash dif- ferent. Shay, waiter, you spend all that Father should (hic) Mr. Jollyboy. million for rocking-herses and drums, shee ? make children happy on Christmas.” “Yes, indeed, sir. Can I help you on with your coat, sir? I see your cab is outside, and I'm needed at that other table, sir.” “All ri’, waiter—all ri’, Goo'bye to you—goo'bye.”” MR. JOLLYBOY’S TIP “But haven't you forgotten something, sir?” “Less shee. Oh, yesh, sho I have—sho I have. and merry Christma The waiter looked at the piece ct paper for a full minute, then thrust it in his pocket and went on waiting. It was a dollar bill. Here, waiter, THE LIMIT. 4¢ ] AM surprised you didn’t propose to Dottie before, she has plenty of money even if she is homely, « My dear fellow, it isn’t her being homely I object to. stand that, but she has such an affectionate disposition.” You know I could A SEVERE SENSE. Grateful mother—Oh! Are you the noble young man who rescued my daughter from a watery grave?" Noble young man (who is truly modest)—" Yes, madam; but I assure you I only did it from a sense of dut PATENT POPULAR SONG. Four songs in one. Alb rights rewrved. Bridget, Gretchen, Di Sweet And unto you T will be true-00-00 { Annabel, | Bridget, Sweety Gretchen, t Dinah. cuorus: { Annabel, . | Bridget, Sweety Gretchen, ( Dinan. { Annabel, | Bridget, at 1 Gretchen, l Dinah, Ne: ae { Annabel, You simply | Bridget, can't { Greeh beat | Gretchen, { Dinah. Note—Be very careful not to mix in singing. OW, if the admin- istration will put alittle of the big stick on the back of the postage - stamps we'll get what should really be gumming to us. comicbooks.com