Judge — December 7, 1907 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

(4 BUT nest year we won't buy so much,” I think I hear you say. You bought the doll for Marguerite, the tricycle for May, ‘The sled fur little Abraham, the carving tools for Joe, The set of furs for Geraldine—she's nearly grown, you know ; The Christmas-tree you had to have because of Baby Jule, Whose wond’ring eyes had never gazed upon a previous Yule. You had to buy a lot this year, you couldn't help yourself ; But next year you'll be wiser far and save your hard-earned pelf, Of course you will ; why, certainly. But do you not recall December, naughty-six, when you proclaimed to one and all That in the future you would be immeasurably discreeter? ‘You sang this song in various tunes and every sort of metre; And back at Christmas, naughty-five, it was the same—re- member? ‘You'd quit this lavish giving ere the following, December. And so, although, of course, you mean exactly what you say, I'd like to place a bet or two about’ next Christmas Day, Go on and lie, oh, brother mine, about your liberality ; Swear you'll be stingy after this, and swear it with finality. ‘Thank heaven you've a heart within that never skips a throb, But always, as the slangsters say, is strictly + ‘Thank heaven there are things in which, doesn’t rule, ‘i ‘And that it loses aye its grip upon the eve of Yule. Of course your giving’s out of all proportion to your store, But lové and sweet self-sacrifice are twins forevermore. STRICKLAND W. GILLILAX, BENTLEY'S BOX OF CIGARS EENTLEY looked at the box of cigars his wife Lad given him for Christmas and frowned. ** The idea!" he muttered to him- self. “Good land, but you'd think a woman would know better !” He selected one of the weeds, took one puff of it, and then threw it into the grate, and when his wife entered the room a little later he was still frown- ing and smoking a pipe. “Why, don't you like the cigars ?” she asked in surprise. “The what 2" he replied.“ Don’t you know, Laura, that a woman should never select such a Christmas present for aman. Why, even the old smokers have to look alive when buying cigars these days. As Harvey was telling me the other night when he was here, you "—— “Yes, I heard some of your conversation,” she cut in. seemed to think that what he didn't know about cigars wasn't worth knowing.” “ Harvey, my dear, could shut his eyes and pick a good cigar out of a package of one thousand poor ones. Of all the men I know, he is the best posted on the different brands.” “You think so, eh ?” “I know so. He was in the business for many years, for pne thing, and he has never givery me a poor weed yet. Now, if Harvey could only see those things that you got so badly swindled on he "—— “But he has seen, “You “Why, you seemed to think he was so well posted on matters of that kind that [ had him select me a box. I'm sorry, dear, that you don’t like them.” Bentley went around for several days after that with a sheepish look on his face, and his wife noticed that the cigars were smoked at a rapid rate, . A DEFINITION. (WHAT is the difference between preferred and common stock,?” “Well, if you buy the common you lose your money right off, but if you buy preferred there is a little longer delay about it.” MERELY MATTERS OF OPINION. WOMEN can keep the secret of success. A company is known by the men it keeps. A bed of roses soon wears down fo the thorns. Man wants but little here below and gets that little less. The automobile by any other name would smell as sweet. The girl with silken hosiery never gets the bottom of her skirt muddy. Will the conductor on the air-ship express shout, “ Leap lively, please"? Lightning never strikes twice in the same place because the place isn’t there after the first visit. Take a “tip” on a horse or stock and you'll find that your balance in bank has been tipped over. Some men never head a procession until they're dead. The average trust would rather pay $100,- 000 to hush up legislatures than pay thirty cents in itimate taxes. When the plumber sends in his little bill to the auto repair-shop, the grafters all snicker. It is significant that if the octopus were dressy it would need a ‘coat of arms." So also do the families that thrive on trusts, rever Pry suxvi comicbooks.com