Judge — October 12, 1907 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A HOPELESS CASE. U love her," said Cupid. “I don't,” said the Mai “You like her, though,” insisted Cupid. « Perhaps I do,” replied the Man. * What of that?” “Why, her features are extremely beau- tiful.” “1 know it.” “ And her waist is divinely slender.” + All right.” “Her voice—it's very musical. You must admit her voice is musical “Ladmit it. “But just consider,” continued Cupid sympathetically, «what a lonesome little thing she is, with nobody to care for her and protect her. * “Bosh !" exclaimed the Man, “She told me herselt IN THESE WIRELESS DAYS. bachelor life was the only thing worth while.” “Yes, boys; | remember when we had miles of wires high up in the air to “That's what she said, She couldn't very well admit swing from.”” anything else. But ‘way down in her heart she wants a man’s KNEW HIM. arm around her waist.” ++ GAIBOY'S new stenographer is a fine one, but she'll “I'd like to know how a man could have his arm around her waist ‘way down never do for him.” in her heart.” “Why, isn’t she quick enough ?” Yes; but her hair is black—and his wife's is yel- WHY Is IT? WHEN your stocks are daily slumping ‘And your finances are slim, All the magazines have stories With a poor-house ending grim? When your skeleton is stalking From its closet home so neat, All the magazines have stories Which the selfsame problem treat? When the ills that flesh is heir to Rob you of your joy and ease, All the characters are dying Of the very same disease ? ‘When, in short, you turn to reading As an inner world of bliss, When you search fur stuff to cheer you, You will read a wail like this? MCLANDIDEGH WILSON, ALWAYS THE SAME, De Quiz—*Isn't that the same suit you had last season ?” De Witt—« Yes; and it’s the same suit you asked me last year if it wasn’t the same suit that I had the year be- fore.” . A DANGEROUS PLACE. Mrs. Dossins—* Why don't you take your wife to the horse show? It doesn't cost much. Mr. Wossins—"* Doesn't it? The last time | took her there she picked out the swellest gown she could find and made me buy her one just like it." I'm not the god of Rhetoric,” explained Cupid. “I should say not!" exclaimed the Man, reaching for his cigarette-case. “ Where in thunder are those matches 2” : “She would know where they are,” insinuated Cupid as he secreted in his quiver the litle box he had deftly stolen from the Man's desk. “She's a good cook, too,” he continued, loath to let his advantage pass, “and you like her—you know you do. That sort of solid affection lasts. Why don’t you marry her and spend the rest of your life in Paradise 2” “Tcan’t afford it!" exclaimed the Man. “Go away and quit bothering me!” “ Two can live as cheaply as one.” * A falsehood! Anybody knows better than that.” Cupid walked disgustedly to the door. “I won't waste any more time on your case,” he grumbled.“ You've been talking to some married man !” DWIGHT SPENCER AXDERSOX. GREAT SCHEME. Collins—" He makes love to the summer girls in the winter-time and to the winter girls in the summer.” Rollins—* What's the idea?” Collins —“ Thinks they come a little cheaper when they're out of season.” HE SHAVED NO MORE. AN EYE ON THE FUTURE. “* Faith! whin th’ railroads gits to run- Reginald—" How do you like the idea of my growing a beard this fall?” nin’ thelr thraies by lectricity, Ch wondher Clarice— Why, I should set my face against it.” phwere Oi'll git me coal.” comicbooks.com