Judge — September 28, 1907 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a | HE frost will soon be with us, ‘bo,”” The boys ain't at the top this year, But wait and see us next year, pal, And all us fans are blue. But what could you expect? For I have got a hunch The rag” is nearly won and lost, We've had hard luck from first to last— ‘That we will set the running for The season ’s almost through ; I'm telling you correct. The whole entire bunch. The bats will soon be packed away, At first it was the ++ Charlie horse,” ‘The old boys will regain their stride, There 's little more to tell— Then ‘glass arms" for a spell, The young blood, too, will tell, Let's roast the umpire just once more * And afterward we failed to hit— And when we win we'll all join in With, «* Well! well! well!” Oh, “Well! well! well!” With, «Well! well! well!” : =A conwey. NITTANY “WELL! WELL! WELL} A FANS LAMENT ncn | | a i DOWNRIGHT ABUSE, % [VE ee alld bot of things Since I've been fooling "round on earth; They've even called me names, b' jings! That cast reflections on my birth They've called me * grafter,” + snide,” and * crook "— Yea, they havenamed me worse than that ; But here comes some man with a book That calls me *proleta- iat" £es Now I have lied the best I could— I've paid my debts when necessary ; I've been, I reckon, average good For one so human and contrary. But all my effort in the line Of keeping straight, and all of that, Is wasted ; and my eyes run brine, If I'm a “ proletariat"! I don't know what the word can mean And, tell the truth, I'm scared to learn. Far as I know I've never seen A sample, and don’t care a durn If I should waste the brief remains Of what short time I have at bat Without once getting through my brains The sense of * proletariat.” Yet while I live and have my health I'd have the whole world understand ‘That, though I've neither fame nor wealth, ‘There's none that dares to lift his hand ‘And swear that I, peace-loving man That tries to side-step family spats, Could e’er be listed with the clan That's labeled “ proletariats.”” STRICKLAND W. GILLILAM, LIMITED. Mrs. Dyer—« What has become of Mrs. Higbee? I haven't seen her in an age.” Mrs. Ryer— Well, you know she has only ong after- noon out a week since she began keeping a servant.” HOW IT HAPPENED. Mr. Dewtell— There goes a man who met with a great disappointment in love.” Mrs. Dewtell—“ Why, 1 thought he married the girl.” Mr, Dewtell— Yes ; he did.” THE OLD AND THE NEW. ITTLE Johnny's father is a physician and his mother is a Christian scientist. Recently the little boy was threatened with appenticitis. His sister, going in- to the room where Johnny was in bed, found a very indignant little boy, who made this complaint : « Father and mother won't let me talk slang, but when I told mother how sick I was she said « Forget it,’ and when I told father he said + Cut it out.'” MASCULINE IGNORANCE. YOUNG lady, who often thought out loud, had just been shown through a garter-factory. “Heavens !" she exclaimed ; ‘ninety million pair in one year? I don't see where they all go to.” “Neither do I,” replied the young man, coloring slightly. IN CHICAGO. Ella— Which man are you going to marry 2?” Stella—'1 don't know ; but it doesn't make any particular difference, anyway. One man’s alimony is as good as another's.” IN CONVENTION ASSEMBLED. Proressor Leo—' Ladies and gentlemen, after carefully studying the statemen's of both parties to the nature-faker controversy, | am convinced that It {s a zoologica! impossibility for either of them to be right.”” comicbooks.com