Judge — September 28, 1907 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED WEEKLY. ew Youn. Jolin A. Sleicher, President. 225 Fourn Av Wastaxy Aovarrising Orric One copy, one year. or $2 numbers - 10 CENTS A Cory, Caste Appneas, “ Te. A. Nichols, Secretary Treasurer. 225 Fourth Avenue, New York. 313 Hartford Building, Oricage, lt. RIBERS: One copy, six months. or 36 numoers = + One copy, for tisrteen weexs Tncluding the Cumestaas Juoce. ostage five to all subscribers in the United States, and in Hawaii, Porto Rico, the Philippine Islands, Gaam, Tutuili, Samoa, and Mexico. P Subscriptions payable in advance vy draft on New York, of by ‘came FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTION Evnoraan sates. The contents of FUDGE are protected bv coovright in both the United States and Great Britain. CONTRIBUTORS must inciose a stamped and seit-addressed envelope with all manascriots, otherIoise return of the Latter when found unawailable cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and all contributions sent to the Art Deoartment should have the sender's fall name and address Yoritten plaini descriptive letier-oress should in every instance be written avon its indtoideal picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paver. insure safe and crompt return of material not acceotes. press or postal order, mot fy lacal checks, twhich, To all foreagn countries in the postal tinon, $6.50 a year orrs—Intermational News Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, EC. London : Brentano's, Avenue de "Opera, Parit rv present banking regulations of New Vork, are at a discount im that cit ‘Canadian Provinces, $5 so a year. 7 Stareach's News Exchange, Mains, Germany. infringement of this copyright will be crompily and Pivorousiy orosecuted. each and every seoarate sketch. The accompanying joke or incloeare of stamps 1 the fall amount of postage (3 also reauired, 10 1 JUDGE cannot be found at any news-stand, the poblishers will be under obligations if that fact be promptly reported on postal-card or by letter. WHAT UNCLE SAM OUGHT TO DO FOR US. SINCE THE principle of federal control is beginning to develop such amazing benefits for the people, it might be worth while to extend its operations indefinitely. A gentleman writes us that a butcher supplies him with steak, and at the same time supplies a wealthy neighbor. He says he has every reason to believe that the price charged in both cases is the same. Nevertheless, he is convinced that his wealthy neighbor gets the best cuts. This is only an example of the multitudinous petty injustices on that make life more or less miserable for all of us. We venture to say that the case of the unrighteous butcher might be fully covered by the post-roads clause of the constitution. See how it works out: This butcher delivers his meat via a public highway. The letter-carrier also uses this highway, which constitutes it a post-road. When the butcher sends the cuts from the two extremities of a critter’s geographical or dietarial section, one of which is distinctly inferior to the other, and yet charges both at the same price, he is violating a law of equity which no just government should be permitted to overlook. The evil of the rebate is likewise involved, and discrimination and several other things. By regulating the post-road the federal arm could work along up to the butcher and control him. This man further relates that he bought two baskets of peaches, one of which was good fruit and the other speckled. But he was charged the same price for both. How a thoroughly good federal power can allow its people to be thus cheated and bamboozled by the agricultural interests is more than we can understand. What this country needs is a federal inspector at every shop door, on every huckster wagon, in every street-car, in every ticket office, in every bank, on every commutation train where seats are at a pre- mium, to see that the people get a square deal. In fact, the ultimate re- quirements of the principle call fora federal attendant for each free citizen of the republic who will at all times and under all circumstances get him his rights to the uttermost. ARE THE AMERICAN PEOPLE STUPID? ‘HERE MIGHT be some benefit in transferring to America some ques- tions which are just now the storm-centre of much newspaper corre- spondence in the Old World. London, for instance, is stirred with certain interrogations which grow out of an undoubted tendency to introspection and self-inquiry among the people. British young men and maidens are reading anxiously the daily answers to the question ‘* Are We a Handsome People?” ‘Are Mothers Growing Slack?” is another query that natu- rally reaches the heart of a troubled audience. ‘* Do Fathers of the Present Day Compare Favorably with Fathers of Fifty Years Ago?” as naturally goes to the heart of another anxious audience. Finally, ‘* Are We a Stupid People?” goes home to the whole British populace. To this latter ques- tion Mr. George Bernard Shaw gives an instant, not to say an aggravat- ing, affirmative. To Mr. Shaw the whole world is stupid, and such an aggressive cosmopolite would hardly find a sufficient reason in native pa- triotism for making an exception of his own country. We venture to range ourselves alongside of the redoubtable Bernard and to declare that the whole world is stupid, and Americans about as much so as the rest. We could cite encyclopaedic evidence, but what’s the use? Look at this one item: a continent fairly bursting with great crops, eighty million people untouched of famine, pestilence or any calamity, business booming, trade prospering, millions contentedly employed at the best wages American workingmen ever received, and yet in some strange, mysterious, foolish, and fatuous way the whole mass of us trembling at the thought of some surt of a pos- sible panic impending. Are we not a stupid people? ON THE FAILING OF AN ELOQUENT TONGUE. A BRITISH parliamentarian who is described as brilliant, scintillant, and coruscating has lost standing in parliament for no other reason, as set forth in recent dispatches, than that he was all these things. Some little time ago a noted hot-air sculptor was imported from the western slopes to give an exhibition before a metropolitan jury, and it is a matter of record that the exhibition was a sorry failure. It may be recalled that a certain gifted windjammer, once dubbed in sheer excess of flattery ‘‘ The Boy Orator of the Platte,”’ has failed during a period of a dozen years to win a certain residence in Washington toward which he has bent all his brilliant energies. It must be that oratory is a handicap. Persons suspected of working “spells” by means of throat music are at a discount. The time has come when juries steel themselves against the fervor and passion of the pleader with a reputation for carrying court-rooms by storm. Recog- nizing the handicap of eloquence, Mr. William Randolph Hearst, for in- stance, has ceased to be eloquent, and now aspires only to be rugged, restrained, and turgid in speech. We expect that the foremost example of the gifted tongue will shortly follow suit, and the next campaign may wit- ness Mr. Bryan mumbling throaty tones and fearful falsettoes after the manner of the merchant and the capitalist suddenly thrust into the political arena. Nowadays, when a man can have it said of him that he isn’t worth a picayune on the platform but that he is all there just the same he may feel that he is flattered far more than when it is said that he has mere polish and brilliance of utterance. Wonderful how a little ALTON B. appears to have 1904 on the brain, thing like that will'worry some men. cee Just WHEN folks are forgetting all about that Panama canal, informa- tion bobs up that it’s almost one-sixteenth done, or something like that. 'UNNY, that news from Wellman. ‘‘ Had to give up. Hurricane busted balloon, Landed on a glacier. Walked back. No more pole this year. Airship a success !”” comicbooks.com